


Ten Days

by eunthusiast



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alzheimer's Disease, Angst, Character Death, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:20:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28601346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eunthusiast/pseuds/eunthusiast
Summary: Sakusa tries to cope as Atsumu slowly succumbs to his dreadful illness day by day, having his memories and health torn apart with no cure."What happened to forever Tsumu?"or where Atsumu was diagnosed with early on-set Alzheimer’s.
Relationships: Minor Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou - Relationship, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 50
Kudos: 185





	1. Day One

The room was near silent, only the sound of the machines beeping and a young man's baritone voice could be heard as he read a page from the book in his hands as the person on the bed lay there, trying to listen attentively to every word that was read as he clung on to his consciousness. 

_“I am the happiest creature in the world. Perhaps other people have said so before, but not one with such justice. I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh.”_

The curly haired man looked up, meeting his lover's gaze as he continued on until realising that the other man was slowly dozing off. He smiled before shutting the book and placing it on the bedside table before tucking his lover in bed properly as a snore was heard. Placing a light kiss on the man's forehead, he walked out of the room, the promise of another visit lingering in the air. 

As he drove back to his apartment, he thought about how his life had started to change two years ago. It was gradual, but things had started changing. It began when Atsumu had started to forget about the littlest things, then he started to get more confused. Everyone brushed it off at first, thinking that the setter was just being silly until he started to show less interest in volleyball. The man had lived and breathed volleyball and once he started to show less and less interest in it day by day, Sakusa grew more and more concerned. When the older had started to have more mood swings and seemed to start forgetting things more, he took him to see a doctor. That day their lives changed. 

_"I'm afraid it's the signs of early on-set Alzheimers."_

He remembers that day vividly, how Atsumu had cried as soon as they got home, scared at the prospect of forgetting everything and everyone, scared of not being able to do what he loves and scared of being robbed of his present and future. Sakusa held him, tried to reassure him that no matter what happens he'll be there and so will his family and friends and not once will he be alone. Sakusa held the love of his life as he cried himself to exhaustion and it was only then that the younger had walked out of the room and collapsed on the floor, germs being on the back of his mind as tears flowing down his cheeks as quiet sobs racked his body. 

The thought of his lover slowly losing himself broke his heart but he knew that Atsumu needed him most. The thought of Atsumu eventually forgetting him, terrified him to his core. The thought that one day he'll see the blonde and he won't hear that awful nickname come out of his mouth scared him. But no matter what, Sakusa knew that he would never leave Atsumu's side, even if he had to introduce himself every time, he would if it meant staying with him through thick and thin. That day, Sakusa decided that he would never show Atsumu anything but a smile, he would mask his pain and heartbreak behind a smile so that even if Atsumu remembered him, he would remember a happy Sakusa Kiyoomi who loves and cherishes him with all his heart. 

Keeping the mask however was a difficult task. Atsumu started to forget more and more each day and the Sakusa will never forget the day Atsumu forgot who he was. 

_Sakusa had just finished practice at the MSBY gym, Bokuto and Hinata asking after Atsumu and asking whether it was alright for them to visit during the weekend. Of course Sakusa had nodded, not wanting to deny them a visit with one of their closest friends. After separating from the loud duo, he got in his car and drove back to their apartment, the radio playing quietly. He hummed under his breath and once he was parked, he quickly grabbed his gym bag and took the elevator up to their apartment._

_It was quiet once he got in, figuring out that Atsumu was probably already asleep. Sakusa made his way to the kitchen and pouring himself a glass of water before heading into their room, no longer needing a shower as he had already taken one in the gym. He smiled at the lump in the bed before crawling under the covers and wrapping his arms around Atsumu, who cooed softly before freezing and climbing out of the bed with a scream. Sakusa turned the lamp on in panic as he looked at Atsumu who was on the floor, eyes wide in panic and was that fear?_

_Dread started filling Sakusa, his previous good mood vanishing as the love of his life stared at him in fear, flinching as he moved towards him._

_"Who are you?!" he shrieked, grabbing the closest thing to him to protect himself. The blonde was shaking in fear, staring at Sakusa as if he was a monster._

_"Atsumu, it's me. Kiyoomi." he let out calmly, ignoring his breaking heart and blinking the tears away, instead plastering a small smile on his face in an attempt of comforting the blonde._

_"I don't know who that is. 'Samu. Where's 'Samu?" he shouted. Backing further back into the wall, clearly not wanting Sakusa near him. The black haired man took a shaky deep breath before nodding and grabbing his phone._

_"I'll call Osamu for you." he whispered, leaving the room to not scare the blonde anymore. He dialled Osamu's number and as soon as he explained the situation, he hung up and sat on the couch, waiting patiently for Osamu to come as he tried to stop the tears from falling. He shut his eyes tightly and counted to ten in his head to calm himself, knowing how scared Atsumu must be at seeing a stranger._

_When the doorbell rang, Sakusa wasted no time in opening the door and letting Osamu in. The twin looked at him pitifully before making his way to the bedroom where Atsumu was, Sakusa leaving the twins be as he sat back on the couch. He had half a mind of dialing Atsumu's doctor but opted not to, waiting to ask Osamu for his opinion first before making that decision._

_He sat there patiently for who knows how long before Osamu made his way to the couch and sat a small distance away from Sakusa._

_"He's asleep now. I talked him down but I don't know if he'll remember you tomorrow, I think we should just wait tomorrow and see." Osamu said, breaking the silence._

_"I'll prepare the guest room for you." Sakusa nodded, getting up shakily as he held the tears back and avoiding looking at Osamu._

_"I'm sorry." Osamu apologised. Sakusa wasn't sure what it was he was apologising for, but he just nodded, too emotionally exhausted to engage in a conversation with his lover's twin. Once he reached the guest room, he collapsed on the chair and let out all the tears he had been holding._

_He never expected this to happen so soon. It had only been three months since Atsumu was diagnosed and Sakusa had been preparing himself for this day but no amount of preparation would help him when he saw Atsumu's terrified face upon seeing him, how the blonde tried to put up a strong front as he shook from where he was on the floor. Sakusa covered his mouth as a loud sob escaped, worried that Osamu might hear him._

_Once he had relatively calmed down, he organised the guest room before heading back to Osamu who nodded in thanks and if he saw Sakusa's stained cheeks and red rimmed eyes, he didn't say anything as his heart broke for his brother and Sakusa._

_When morning came, Osamu and Sakusa called Atsumu's doctor and the day after, Atsumu was admitted to the hospital._

Sakusa shook his head at the memory as he walked through the front door and headed straight to the bathroom to shower, eager to clean the germs that had accumulated in his body and once he was done, he dried his hair and went straight to sleep praying for a better tomorrow.


	2. Day Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meaning of the flowers  
> Dark Red - deep love and affection  
> White- pure love and good luck

Sakusa gathered all his things and headed for the hospital, stopping in the florists near the hospital beforehand, a habit he has developed since Atsumu was first admitted. He greeted the woman at the counter and requested for a bouquet of white and dark red carnations. Once the flowers were wrapped, he continued on his way to the hospital, bowing politely at the receptionist before heading straight to Atsumu's room. 

Upon reaching the door, he paused like he usually does and took deep breaths before taking his mask off and plastering a smile on his face and entering the room. Osamu looked up from where he was sat beside his twin's bed as Suna gave him a small smile from where he was stood by the window. Sakusa greeted them with a bow before placing the bouquet on the bedside table and placing a light kiss on a sleeping Atsumu's forehead. 

"Has he been sleeping all day?" Sakusa asked.

"He just fell asleep before you came." Osamu answered, putting away the book he had in his hands in the drawer beside Atsumu's bed.

"Atsumu ate already so you don't have to worry about it." Suna added. Sakusa nodded and started straightening out Atsumu's blanket, careful to not wake him up while humming a tune under his breath. 

Once he was done, he placed the bouquet on the empty vase atop the windowsill, ignoring Suna's pitiful glances. The curly haired man reached into his bag and got out two water bottles, one of which he opened and used to fill the vase and the other he used to fill up the jug on the bedside table. This was how he usually kept himself busy whenever Atsumu was asleep, trying to pass time without thinking about his frail lover. 

"Sakusa." Osamu started.

"Kiyoomi." the younger interjected.

"Kiyoomi. Can we talk? Outside." 

The younger raised an eyebrow at him and looked back at Atsumu as if to say that he wasn't going to leave his lover alone. 

"Rin will still be here." Osamu reassured. Sakusa looked back at him and nodded, placing a small kiss on Atsumu's forehead and played some light music on the speaker before following Osamu out of the door. They seemed to be headed to the cafeteria and Sakusa spent that time thinking about the past few years, how it had brought him closer to Osamu whom he spent time with every week whenever they visited Atsumu. It was definitely much different to how it was more than two years ago. He remembered the time when he went to Onigiri Miya straight after practice, telling Atsumu to go home first because he had something to take care of. 

_It was a chilly night as Sakusa headed towards Onigiri Miya, hands shaking in his pockets, not because of the cold, but because of nerves as he thought about the small velvet box in his bag, a box he had been carrying with him for a good week. When Onigiri Miya came into view, Sakusa wasted no time in knocking on the door, ignoring the closed sign and waited for Osamu to come out the front. When the man emerged from the back, he didn't hide the surprise on his face as he looked at his brother's boyfriend hovering by the door before quickly letting him in._

_"What are you doing here? Did something happen?" Osamu worried, no doubt thinking something had happened to his twin who was nowhere to be found._

_"No, I just needed to talk to you about something. Sorry for the intrusion." Sakusa expalined as he watched Osamu deflate. The older nodded before gesturing for Sakusa to take a seat before he disappeared and reappeared with two cups of tea. He sat in front of the younger and looked at him curious, it was not every day that Sakusa would seek him out._

_"Since your parents are currently still adjusting to Atsumu being the way he is, I thought that the best person to ask would be you. You are his twin after all." Osamu raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything, letting the black haired man continue. "I would like to ask for your permission before I propose to Atsumu."_

_Sakusa twiddled with his thumbs, looking at Osamu nervously as the other man choked on his tea and started coughing. The younger hid the disgust at all the germs the other man was emitting with his coughing fit but refrained from saying anything, not wanting to anger the man before he gave his approval, handing him a tissue instead._

_"Why on earth would you wanna do that? That's a death sentence." Osamu croaked._

_"I know I'm not the very affectionate person, but I love your brother. I love Atsumu with my entire being that he is the only one I can see spending the rest of my life with. I don't know what I would be able to do if I ever lost Atsumu. I want to continue playing alongside him, I want to always be there by his side supporting him in everything he wants to do in life and most importantly, I want to grow old with him. I always knew there was a piece missing in my life, but I never thought that missing puzzle piece would be a loud, messy and obnoxious blond._

_I know Atsumu loves me too, hell he tells me every day and I know he'll probably say yes but I know he would want his family's support too. I know he'll want to be able to celebrate it with his family and right now, you and Suna are his only family. It would mean the world to me if you could give me your blessing because life without Atsumu by my side, in all his loudness and messiness is not a happy life at all."_

_When he was finished, he looked at the older and was shocked to see that the other man had tears in his eyes. Sure he was gaping, but the happiness was there._

_"Wow." he let out. "I never knew that the Sakusa Kiyoomi would out-sap Atsumu but I guess you two really are perfect for each other. You have my full blessing. I know I may tease and bully Atsumu a lot but he is still my twin brother and I care a great deal about him. Don't tell him that. I'm just glad to know that he has someone like you in his life."_

_Sakusa got up and respectfully bowed at Osamu. "Thank you."_

_With that, they talked for a while before Sakusa headed back home to where Atsumu was probably waiting for him, feeling a lot lighter and more excited. He had plans to propose to Atsumu the day after but little did he know, he would never get the chance to because the day after was when Miya Atsumu was diagnosed with early on-set Alzheimer's._

He was brought out of his thoughts when Osamu cleared his throat and gestured for Sakusa to take a seat in front of him. The feeling of dread settling in as he looked closely at Osamu who looked more exhausted than he had ever seen, eyes puffy probably from tears as he traced his finger on the rim of his cup. 

"He's at the last stage." 

Those simple five words shattering his heart even more. He looked down at his own cup, not being able to cope seeing Osamu's shoulder shake as sobs wracked his body, Sakusa himself holding his own tears. 

"The doctor said that at this point, they don't know when 'Tsumu would- would" 

"No." Sakusa shook his head. He kept muttering no under his breath as he shook from holding his tears in, not willing to accept that the time he has left with the love of his life is limited. Sakusa didn't know how long him and Osamu were sat there for, both dealing with grief differently, but both broken from the thought that they may lose the person they loved most in the near future. Eventually, Sakusa couldn't take it anymore and left Osamu to head back to where Atsumu was. 

When he reached the room, he didn't waste any time and took the seat that Suna had occupied, the other man leaving the room to give Sakusa space, no doubt looking for Osamu. Sakusa gently took Atsumu's hand in his shaky one, his sight getting more blurry as the tears started to fall. He cried into Atsumu's hand, quiet sobs escaping as the thought that he may lose Atsumu soon started to sink in.

He wanted to live in a state of denial where he would take care of Atsumu for the rest of their lives. He didn't mind if he spent the rest of his life in the hospital looking after Atsumu, tending to his every needs. It didn't matter if Atsumu forgot who he was, he would just re-introduce himself every time. It didn't matter that it hurt him, as long as he could be by Atsumu's side, that's all that mattered. 

"Why- cry?" a voice asked. Sakusa looked back up and saw Atsumu's beautiful brown eyes staring at him, concern swimming in those brown hues. 

"Don't worry Atsumu." Sakusa reassured him, giving him a teary smile as he held in his sobs. He slowly reached out to Atsumu who looked at him in apprehension but otherwise let him as he gently caressed Atsumu's cheek, tears not stopping. 

He wasn't ready to let him go.

Not yet.


	3. Day Three

Sakusa hummed under his breath as he wiped a wet cloth across Atsumu's back, the said man being supported at the front by Osamu. Once he was done, he wiped it over with a dryer cloth and putting his clothes back on before taking hold of Atsumu and laying him back gently on the bed. The older closed his eyes as he let out a small hum and before they knew it, he had fallen asleep. Sakusa smiled fondly at him before leaning down to place a kiss on Atsumu's forehead and putting the cloths and bucket away as Osamu turned the TV on and turning the volume down, sitting down on the chair closest to the door. As soon as Sakusa was done, he sat down on the chair beside Atsumu's bed.

"Do you miss playing?" Osamu asked as Sakusa got a book out of the drawer. He raised on eyebrow at Osamu but the other man just pointed at the TV where a volleyball game was playing, more precisely a game between MSBY Black Jackals and EJP Raijin. 

"Atsumu is my priority. I don't have the time to miss playing." 

"He wouldn't have wanted you to quit for him you know."

"I didn't just quit for him. I quit for me too. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with him because volleyball will always be here, Atsumu might not."

Osamu didn't say anything more, instead just hummed and continued to focus on the game. Unlike Sakusa who retired at the early age of 27, Osamu remained at Onigiri Miya, working part time rather than full time at Atsumu's insistence, not wanting to see his brother give up his business for him. Atsumu never got to change Sakusa's mind, the younger standing his ground. 

"You know, I always wondered whether you really loved 'Tsumu back then." Osamu mused. 

"Oh?"

"Yeah. You just seemed cold and you never seemed like you put the same amount of effort that 'Tsumu did. I know this sounds awful but I never expected you to have this much patience you know? I think what really solidified it for me wasn't your proposal speech, but when you looked around the city for him."

Sakusa knew exactly which day Osamu meant, that was one of the worst days of his life after all. 

_Sakusa had called every single person on his contacts who knew Atsumu, getting more desperate as time went by. He had only left him alone for not even two minutes as he went to the bathroom, confident that the older wouldn't wander off but he seemed to be overconfident since as soon as he got back, the other man was gone. It had already been two hours and a half and he's already called Atsumu multiple times, asked the workers in the restaurant they were at, the people working in the shops near by, he even went home and called the people in his contacts if they've seen Atsumu but to not avail._

_He was worried sick and was tempted to call the police after running around, he was exhausted but he couldn't give up. Atsumu had probably had another 'episode' as Sakusa liked to call it and he can't help but worry about Atsumu, about how scared the other probably was. He sat on the bench in the sidewalk to catch his breath and when his phone rang, he took it out and answered so fast hoping it was Atsumu but was met with the wrong twin._

_"Tsumu is in front of Ajinomoto National Training Center."_

_"Thank you."_

_With that, Sakusa hailed a taxi and prayed that as soon as he got there, Atsumu hadn't wondered off. He anxiously waited and as soon as the taxi stopped, he gave the driver a bunch of notes and ran to the front of the building where he saw Atsumu sat on the ground, looking small as he wrapped his arms around his legs. Sakusa relaxed his shoulders and walked towards Atsumu before crouching down in front of him._

_"Atsumu." he said gently, tapping the other man's arm. Upon hearing his voice, Atsumu looked up, tears streaming down his face._

_"Omi?" he whispered unsurely. Sakusa nodded and opened his arms before the older launched himself into his arms, hugging him tightly as he shook with sobs._

_"It's okay my love, I'm here." Sakusa rubbed his hands up and down the other's back, holding him gently as his lover cried in his arms. Once Atsumu had calmed down slightly, Sakusa wiped his tears away and gave him a gentle smile which seemed to calm him down more._

_"What were you doing here?" he inquired softly, trying to convey that he wasn't mad, just curious._

_"I was alone in the restaurant, I didn't know where I was so I left. I wasn't at home but I couldn't remember where home was so I just kept walking and walking until I somehow ended up here? I felt like I should have been somewhere but I couldn't remember where so I just decided to stay here. I didn't know who or what I was waiting for until you came." Atsumu sniffed._

_"Well thank you for waiting patiently my love." Sakusa leaned in and pressed a small kiss on Atsumu's lips and when he pulled back, the other looked at him in shock before turning into an adorable shade of red._

_"Are you really my Omi?" Atsumu asked, suspicion underlying his words._

_"No, I'm his clone." he deadpanned as Atsumu gently hit him in the shoulder._

_"What's gotten into you today? You never call me 'my love' unless it's a special occasion and you never kiss me in public, let alone sit on the ground where there are germs."_

_'It is a special day, it's our anniversary. It's also the day we first met in this very building.' was what Sakusa wanted to say but instead opted for, "I just felt like showering my sly little fox some love. Are you complaining?"_

_"Nope. I'll take what I can get." the other said, snuggling into Sakusa with a contented sigh. Sakusa blinked back the tears as he realised how much worse Atsumu was getting but decided to put it on the back of his mind as he held the man tightly, opting to enjoy this time they have._

_Who cares if they don't do everything they'd planned, as long as Atsumu was by his side it didn't matter. To Sakusa, the fact that they're spending their fourth anniversary in front of the building where they first met, that was romantic enough. They stayed there talking until the security guard told them to move and walked back home, Atsumu talking about anything and everything beside him and if he noticed Sakusa holding his hand tighter than usual, he didn't say anything, instead holding it back just as tight._

_Once they were home, Atsumu headed straight to bed as Sakusa texted Osamu telling him that Atsumu is home safe and sound before asking how he knew where Atsumu was. It wasn't until he was tucked in bed that Osamu replied telling him that one of his customers came in and asked him how he got to the shop so fast from the training centre. Osamu told him he'll visit in the morning and with that, Sakusa turned the lights off and took Atsumu in his arms before going to sleep._

"Anything for him." Sakusa nodded, looking affectionately at Atsumu. 

Osamu looked at the love between Sakusa and Atsumu, never once expecting the Sakusa Kiyoomi to speak softly about his monster of a twin but time does change everything and he has never been so happy that Atsumu had found someone to love him, all of him, both the good and the bad. The way Sakusa looked at Atsumu, how he loves and takes care of him, Osamu prayed that in their next life, Atsumu and Sakusa will live a happy and long life with each other because Atsumu the little bastard deserved everything good in the world. 

"Thank you Kiyoomi." Osamu said softly. 

"You don't need to thank me." he replied before opening his book and continued reading, reaching out to hold Atsumu's hand in his. 

Osamu smiled at the sight before turning back to the game, _'To any deity up there, thank you for bringing Sakusa Kiyoomi to him.'_


	4. Day Four

Sakusa arranged the bouquet of gardenia and white lilac in the vase, humming a soft tune under his breath as music played from the speaker. Today would be the day that some of Atsumu's former teammates visited as it was the only day they were all free to visit which meant that Sakusa busied himself by trying to make the room even cleaner as Atsumu slept in his bed. These days Atsumu is having a lot of trouble communicating to the point that he just stays silent the majority of the time. Not only that, but Atsumu has also started to eat less and is more often than not losing consciousness. 

The younger has always tried to soothe him by playing classical music or just reading a book to him as he slept. Every time Atsumu woke, there's always that hint of confusion and fear in his eyes, no doubt scared of his surroundings. 

A knock sounded from the door before the tell tale sound of the door sliding open was heard, breaking Sakusa out from his thoughts.

"Hey Sakusa." Suna whispered. Behind him was the former Inarizaki captain and ace, both holding paper bags in their hands. 

"Pardon the intrusion." Kita and Aran whispered, eyeing a sleeping Atsumu. Sakusa walked towards them and greeted them, as Suna just patted him on the back.

"Welcome. Sorry Atsumu is sleeping right now." 

"It's okay. How have you been?" Kita asked.

"Have you been well?" Aran added.

"I've been okay." Sakusa smiled, taking the paper bags that both men handed him. Suna made himself busy as Sakusa gestured for them to take a seat in one of the vacant chairs in the room. As he was putting the stuff away, a cough was heard from Atsumu prompting everyone in the room to jump up as Sakusa grabbed the glass of water he had prepared while Suna controlled the bed to move into a sitting up position. 

Sakusa placed the glass on Atsumu's lips as he urged his lover to drink, even though he knew that the older had problems swallowing nowadays. When Atsumu drank, even just a little bit, Sakusa praised him and watched as a hint of joy flashed through Atsumu's eyes at the praise. 

"Well done my love." Sakusa praised, as he put the glass away as Suna wiped off some of the water that dripped down Atsumu's chin. 

"Suna is here." At Atsumu's confused look, Sakusa explained. "Osamu's fiancé."

Atsumu's eyes widened in shock as he looked at Suna, seeming to check him up and down before he noticed the two men behind Suna. 

"Aran. You remember Aran right?" Atsumu nodded. 

"O-Old." Atsumu let out before a cheeky smile broke out on his face. Sakusa's breath hitched at seeing that familiar smile that he loved so much. He could feel Suna's eyes on him but he ignored it, opting to look at that beautiful smile on his Atsumu's face, a smile he hasn't seen in a long time. As he felt tears gather in his eyes, he quickly blinked them away as he cleared his throat and introduced Kita. 

"T-the one next to him is Kita. He was the captain of your team in high school during second year." 

Atsumu looked frustrated as he looked at Kita, clearly agitated at the fact that he couldn't remember. Sakusa gently rubbed Atsumu's shoulder to calm him down, taking note of the way the other seemed to relax at his touch.

"It's nice seeing you again Atsumu." Kita said with a gentle smile. 

"I see you haven't changed." Aran joked, a small smile on his face.

"He's doing better today." Suna mused. Sakusa nodded in agreement, watching as Aran and Kita tried to converse with Atsumu. Suna went to stand beside Sakusa who moved to stand by the window, opting to give Aran and Kita some time with Atsumu before Bokuto and Hinata came. 

"His hands were really cold." Suna pointed out, worry lacing his tone. "Are his feet like that too?"

"Yeah. Last night before I left he seemed to be extremely restless too." 

"That's concerning."

"It is." 

"He's getting worse." Sakusa whispered, hands shaking. "But he seemed to be doing well today, I hope he does well everyday."

Suna looked at the anxious man, sighing before putting a hand on his back, patting it comfortingly. They both know, they all know that since Atsumu's at the late stage, he's been that way for a while that he doesn't have very long left. It is a fact that Sakusa tries to deny but deep down, he knew that's why he hasn't been going to work, he knows that that's the reason why Osamu was around more than he usually was and that it's the reason why all of Atsumu's closest friends are all suddenly taking some time off and visiting him. It's because they know time is extremely limited. 

The raven haired man looked as Atsumu was slowly starting to lose consciousness as Kita talked about his week in the farm. As Sakusa watched Atsumu's eyes close, a hint of anxiety shot up through his heart and only the sound of the machine signifying Atsumu's heartbeat calmed him down. Every single time Atsumu's eyes would close, Sakusa would listen to his breathing and the machine's familiar beeping before he could rest, dreading the day he wouldn't be able to hear them anymore. 

Sakusa moved towards the remote and gently pressed the button, watching as the bed frame descended until Atsumu was laying down properly on the bed. He placed the blanket over Atsumu, carefully putting the other man's cold hands under the blanket. 

"You really do take great care over him." Kita said. Aran nodding beside him.

"Remember when Tsumu had a huge crush on Sakusa and he wouldn't stop talking about him?" Suna rolled his eyes as Aran looked exasperated at the memory. Kita just nodded. 

"Atsumu was very infatuated. I think he had felt an attraction towards you during the training camp." Kita mentioned. 

"The worst was when you ended up together in MSBY." 

"Oh god please." Suna groaned. "Every time we had a match Komori and I wanted to gag at the ridiculous pining."

"It wasn't that bad." Sakusa defended, ears turning red. 

"Yes, yes it was. Atsumu would call Samu every single fucking day to talk about how good you looked, how hot you looked when you were all sweaty. It was disgusting." Suna complained.

"I think he was talking about you when he mentioned a strong, admirable player during high school too now that you mentioned it." Aran thought out loud. 

"Oh and Komori also told me about how you'd call him to talk to him about how Atsumu-"

"Okay no enough." Sakusa interrupted him, neck suspiciously red. 

He looked away from them and watched as the sun was shining on Atsumu, making it look like the cheeky and endearing man had a halo on his head. Without his permission, a soft smile appeared on his face as he watched the rise and fall of Atsumu's chest and at the tranquil look on the man's face. When he looked up, he saw the three men looking at him with an unreadable look in their faces. He raised an eyebrow at them but they just shook their heads, looking comically synchronised. 

"Well we better head off then." Kita said. "It was nice seeing you guys again."

"Glad to see Atsumu's okay. I hope you're also taking good care of yourself." Aran added. 

"I am. Thank you for coming. I'm sure Atsumu was happy to see you both." 

At that, Kita and Aran waved everyone goodbye as Suna made himself comfortable on the chair near the door as Sakusa sat on his usual seat, grabbing his phone and connecting it to the speakers, classical music playing quietly. He took his laptop from his bag and wrote an email to his employer, requesting for an extra week off, letting him know that he'll make up to all the missed hours when he got back. After that, he looked over his other emails, both him and Suna sitting in silence. 

When the door slid open, both men looked up and at seeing a small orange haired and a tall black-grey haired man, Sakusa put his things away as Suna greeted them first. Once he was done, he walked towards them only for his former teammates to pull him into a tight hug. When he didn't pull away, they squeezed him tighter until he hugged them back.

"We missed you and Atsumu." Hinata whispered, voice suspiciously shaky. 

"It's not the same without you and Tsum-Tsum." Bokuto added. 

"You're always free to visit." Sakusa said, pulling away. The two men looked at Atsumu's sleeping form before tears filled their eyes. Sakusa made eye contact with Suna who was putting away the gifts Hinata and Bokuto brought. 

"How have you been?" Bokuto asked him, uncharacteristically serious. 

"I've been okay. I'm just glad my boss let me have a week off so I can be here for him." 

"Make sure you also take care of yourself okay?" Bokuto told him, acting like such a big brother to the younger male. Sakusa nodded. 

"We brought the present from the team." Hinata said, pointing to the bag Suna had put to the side. 

"Keiji is coming with Osamu in a bit too. They're bringing some food." Bokuto announced. Upon hearing Osamu's name, Suna perked up and unfortunately for him, Bokuto didn't miss it, prompting the owl-like man to tease Suna. 

Hinata walked gently towards the bed, before awkwardly patting the top of Atsumu's head. 

"He looks so peaceful." the orange haired man whispered. "I've never seen him like this before." 

Before Sakusa could reply, the door slid open once more gaining the attention from everyone in the room. In came Osamu and Akaashi, both carrying bags of what was presumably Onigiri. Both Suna and Bokuto greeted their respective partners, who welcomed their greetings as Sakusa looked away to look at Atsumu who stirred in his sleep, but didn't wake. 

"How was he?" Osamu asked. 

"He had a good day today. He recognised Aran and even called him old. Other than that, he didn't speak. He struggled to drink water again but he finished the full glass." Sakusa informed him. 

Osamu nodded at the information, smiling gently at his twin before getting out takeaway boxes from the bags and distributing them to the group who have gathered in the room. Once a box was opened, the familiar smell of onigiri filled the room and Atsumu stirred awake. Sakusa moved towards him straight away, putting down his food. 

Atsumu looked at him, confusion in his eyes. 

"Omi. I'm Omi, your boyfriend." Sakusa introduced himself. At the lack of recognition and the growing agitation, Sakusa looked at Osamu who took over as Sakusa moved back.

"Tsumu." Osamu said, catching his twin's attention. Atsumu opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out, he tried again but it was incomprehensible. Atsumu looked more and more frustrated as he looked at the group of people in the room, clearly not recognising anyone but Osamu. 

"Hey, Tsumu calm down. I'm here okay. Take a deep breath." Osamu soothed, as Sakusa gestured for everyone to follow him. They all nodded and trailed after him wordlessly, Suna staying behind and once they reached the cafeteria, they all found a table and all sat down, not saying a word. 

Sakusa could feel all the sympathetic glances that they were giving him but he ignored them, opting to twiddle with his thumbs instead. He knew that Atsumu would forget again, he seemed to only remember bits and pieces and most were of his memories from childhood till middle school. He only often recognised the people he met during those time periods. 

"I'm sorry." Sakusa apologised. The group was clearly shocked at the apology but before they could say anything, he continued, "I know you didn't expect to see that. You must be feeling awkward now right?"

"No." Bokuto replied. Sakusa looked at the man who looked so serious as Hinata nodded in agreement beside him. "We didn't expect Tsum-Tsum to recognise us, we were just happy with seeing him breathing and alive. You're our friends, one of our closest friends. That means we'll be here through the good and bad."

"Yeah! No matter how bad it gets, just know that you have some people you can lean on. Don't try to go through this by yourself. Just because you left the team doesn't mean you left our friendship too. We're here for you and Atsumu, always." Hinata added. 

"Thank you." Sakusa whispered as he felt tears welling up in his eyes. 

"We know how hard it must be for you, so anything you need you can call us." Akaashi comforted him, that ever present kind smile on his face. Sakusa nodded at him, looking down as tears streamed down his face. 

Both Bokuto and Hinata got up and pulled the crying man into a hug, their hearts breaking at the distraught look on Sakusa's face. In all the years they've known him, Sakusa has never showed this side of him, he's never let them hug him, afraid that the germs would spread on him but this time, he let them. He accepted their support as he slowly broke down in front of them, his mask slipping away as he shook in their embrace. In front of them, Akaashi bowed apologetically at the other people in the cafeteria who were looking at them curiously. 

"It must've been hard huh?" Bokuto whispered as he rubbed Sakusa's back comfortingly while trying to blink back his own tears. Hinata cried silently, unsure of what to do to comfort his friend who was slowly breaking in his arms. 

They stayed like that for who knows how long until Suna came and looked worriedly at Sakusa as Akaashi filled him in on what happened. A look of understanding washed over his face and looked pitifully at Sakusa. He knew how much Sakusa had been struggling, how much the other man has been hiding and he tried to be there for him but it was hard when he wouldn't open up to anyone. He insisted on putting up that fake mask that mostly everyone can see through. 

"How is he?" Sakusa asked him, once Bokuto and Hinata had let go. 

"Asleep. Samu is by his side. The doctor said it's better if he didn't have any other visitors today." Suna explained. He looked regretful at Bokuto, Hinata and Akaashi who all just assured him that it was okay. They all sat and ate in silence and once everyone was done, Bokuto and Hinata gave Sakusa one last hug before promising to visit again some other day. Once they were gone, Suna patted Sakusa's shoulder.

"Everything will be fine."

 _'I hope so.'_ Sakusa thought before heading back to say goodbye to Atsumu.


	5. Day Five

The sun shone through the curtains, waking Sakusa up from his slumber. Rolling over to get his phone from the nightstand, he looked through all his messages and other notifications. He quickly replied to Osamu before getting up and heading to the bathroom to take a shower and getting on with the day. After yesterday, Osamu had informed him to come to Atsumu a little later than usual, not wanting to overwhelm the man. Sakusa had agreed, wanting to do what's best for Atsumu even if it pained him to do so. 

As Sakusa started getting changed, a familiar velvet box caught his attention. A bittersweet feeling engulfed his heart as he opened it, revealing that silver ring with three simple diamond encrusting the outer band, _forever,_ was ironically engraved in the inner band. Shutting the box, he put it inside the nightstand drawer, locking it away like he does with his struggles. Putting the ring at the back of his mind, Sakusa started cleaning up the room, carefully dusting the picture frame that sat on the nightstand before moving on to the living room.

It had been a while since he thoroughly cleaned his apartment, it has been a while since he's properly lived here after all, as he usually spent most of the week with Atsumu or at work. It's been a while since he was subject to all the memories that were scattered around the apartment, picture frames and some of Atsumu's trinkets could be seen in shelves and in a cabinet too. Sakusa tried not to look at all the picture frames for too long, knowing that they make his heart ache. He tried, but that one picture of Atsumu looking so, so happy drew him closer, almost as if the other man was there in person. 

The picture of Atsumu laughing was captured so beautifully by the lens, how it captured Atsumu's red cheeks, as he hunched forward, hand extended towards the camera as he laughed joyfully. Sakusa ran his fingers on the frame, a small smile gracing his features as the memory of their first date flashed before his eyes. 

_"Omi-Omi come on!" Atsumu waved over as he gracefully glided across the ice. Sakusa held on tightly to the railing, trying so hard not to slip as this was his first time ice skating. He never really liked going to places like this, it was too crowded which meant that germs would be spreading faster. But upon seeing how excited Atsumu was, he decided to put his fear on the back of his mind and went along with his love's wishes._

_As he struggled to move along the ice, he watched as Atsumu moved through it with ease, a look so wonderfully peaceful on his face that Sakusa wanted to take him in his arms and without thinking, he let go of the railing only to forget that he couldn't skate, eventually slipping and falling on the ice with a thud. He didn't miss the melodious laugh that came from the object of his affection._

_"Omi!" Atsumu shouted as he skated towards Sakusa, as the younger attempted to get up from the ice. When Atsumu had reached him, he carefully checked for injuries and let out a sigh of relief when he found none._

_"I'm okay." Sakusa assured him, as Atsumu helped him up._

_"Omi! You should've been more careful." Atsumu scolded him, his face looking so adorably frustrated. Sakusa pinched the other man's cheek and rolled his eyes._

_"I was. I just wanted to go to you dumbass." Sakusa mumbled and a feeling of satisfaction creeped up as Atsumu's face turned red._

_"Well you could've just called me Omi. I was really worried."_

_"Don't lie. I heard you let out a laugh as I came crashing down."_

_"I - I didn't." Atsumu tried to deny as he let Sakusa wrap his arm around him. The blond assisting him towards the other end of the ice rink._

_"Lies." Sakusa carefully followed Atsumu. "Wait I think I've got it."_

_Taking that as a sign to let go, Atsumu skated just a little bit away from his date and observed as Sakusa carefully took a step forward before comically flailing around as he started slipping. The blond couldn't let him fall once more and quickly skated towards him, helping steady him as he held back from laughing at the raven haired man. Once Sakusa was steady, Atsumu moved in front of him and upon taking once glance at his face, all self restraint disappeared and he started laughing at Sakusa's inability to skate._

_If it was any other person, Sakusa would have gotten mad, would have told them off for laughing at him but this was Atsumu and seeing such a happy look on his face brought nothing but a smile on Sakusa's own. He slowly moved backwards and got his phone out, snapping a picture of Atsumu who was hunched over in tears, as he giggled at Sakusa's lack of balance on the ice. He admired how bewitching the man looked, how the red dusting his cheeks perfectly complimented his features. It was then and there that Sakusa decided he would make Atsumu happy, that he would never make the man upset, not if he can help it. He decided that maybe he'd love to see Atsumu like this for the rest of his life. Maybe._

_At seeing Sakusa quite far, Atsumu extended a hand towards him. Sakusa took another picture before carefully reaching out towards Atsumu who pulled him into his embrace._

_"You're never leaving my side Omi-Omi." Atsumu giggled, as he placed a small kiss on Sakusa's cheek. Sakusa felt a blush spreading on his face as he leaned more in Atsumu's embrace._

_"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." he had whispered._

_After over a year spent loving Atsumu from afar, Sakusa thanked the deities for giving him a chance with this beautiful and ever shining man, promising to make him happy for the rest of his life._

Drops of water fell on the frame as Sakusa remembered how happy they were, how despite all the hardships they faced, despite their arguments, they always prevailed simply because of the love and dedication they had for each other. All the happy memories, they shared, only Sakusa remembered. But that was okay, he would remember it all for the both of them. 

The sound of his phone ringing brought him out of his thoughts. He wiped his tears away before picking up the call. 

"Kiyoomi. How are you?" the familiar voice of his cousin rang through the phone.

"I'm okay." Sakusa replied, an almost automatic response to the question.

"Don't lie to me Kiyoomi. Sunarin told me what happened yesterday."

"It's okay. I never expected him to remember." 

"Oh Kiyoomi. That's it. I'm coming over tonight okay?"

"No you don't have to. I'm fine."

"That's bullshit and you and I both know it."

"Just come tomorrow. I don't really feel like meeting anyone today." 

"Fine. I'm coming first thing tomorrow morning." 

"Okay. I'll see you then." 

"You better." with that, the line ended. Sakusa sighed at the thought of facing his cousin tomorrow but he couldn't avoid it. Looking at the frame once more, Sakusa continued on with cleaning and once he was done, it was already three in the afternoon. He checked his phone and saw a message from Osamu, telling him that Atsumu wasn't as restless as yesterday and that he can come if he wanted to. After sending a reply, Sakusa took another shower before getting changed and making his way to Atsumu. 

He stopped by the florists and got a bouquet of forget-me-nots. The lady at the counter wrapped it up nicely and once Sakusa paid, he made his way to the hospital, smiling softly at the receptionist and heading straight towards Atsumu's room. Putting a small smile on his face, Sakusa knocked on the door before sliding it open.

Atsumu was sat on his bed, looking out the window as he held a piece of paper in his hands, Osamu sat on the chair by the bed as he talked to his twin. Sakusa observed the way Atsumu had seemed more relaxed, much more than he did yesterday. 

"Another bouquet? Christ this place is like a garden." Osamu joked. That seemed to snap Atsumu from his thoughts, looking at Sakusa inquisitively. 

"These are for you." Sakusa said, unsure if he should go to Atsumu or not. Sakusa looked at Osamu who just gave him a small smile before nodding at him in encouragement.

"O-omi?" 

Sakusa looked at Atsumu in shock as the other man beckoned him over with a small motion, paper in his hand slipping off the bed. As if he was being controlled, Sakusa walked towards the other man, keeping eye contact with those dazzling brown eyes. Once he reached him, he carefully placed the bouquet in Atsumu's hands, watched as a small smile spread on the other man's face. 

"P-pretty. T-thank." Atsumu let out. Sakusa subtly pinched his arm, wondering whether he was dreaming or hallucinating as he watched Atsumu admire the flowers he had brought. When Atsumu looked back up at him, he was shocked to see Sakusa's tear filled eyes, the other man's hand shaking. 

"C-can I hug you?" Sakusa whispered. He wouldn't have been heard if the room wasn't so silent. For a brief second, Atsumu looked at his brother who just nodded and at that, Atsumu looked up at Sakusa before giving him a blinding smile. 

The younger didn't waste any time, quickly walking over to Atsumu and gently taking him in his arms. He tattooed this feeling in his heart, in his memories. The way Atsumu had lightly brushed his waist in an attempt to hug back, as Sakusa held back sobs of happiness. It seemed like for the first time since Atsumu's condition started to get worse, Sakusa felt an ounce of happiness in his heart. It's very small, but it's there. 

He didn't want to let go but he knew he had to and once he let go, he brushed his fingers on Atsumu's cheeks, the man looking at his confusedly. 

"Thank you." Sakusa let out, knowing full well that the other man had already forgotten. He took Atsumu's hand and placed a small kiss on his slim fingers, a small tear falling down his cheek. 

The fact that Atsumu had recognised him for a brief second, had accepted a hug from him, made Sakusa happier than he had been in a long time and he couldn't be more thankful.

_"Thank you."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> flower meaning  
> forget-me-nots - love and memory


	6. Day Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw! - panic attack

True to his words, Komori had come to visit Sakusa early in the morning much to his younger cousin's dismay. Sakusa had grumbled as he got ready as Komori talked to Suna on the phone who urged them to have fun during the day as Osamu had taken another day off to keep Atsumu company. Once he was ready, Komori dragged Sakusa out of the apartment and took him to get breakfast at a café nearby.

Komori observed his cousin, frowning at seeing how the younger had lost weight. He saw how exhausted the other looked, the dark circles around his eyes and this thinner features made him wonder if the other had been taking care of himself. When the waitress came, Komori ordered waffles, pancakes and juice for the both of them before Sakusa could even say something. 

"You need to eat." Komori said as soon as the waitress had left. Sakusa just glared at him before looking out at the window. The two just sat in silence, one too tired and the other too busy worrying. 

"What do you want to do today?" Sakusa asked, breaking the silence. 

"Well, I was hoping to just go around the city and relax today." 

Before Sakusa could reply, the waitress came and placed their orders on the table. Komori reached into his bag and took out hand sanitizers and the neatly wrapped utensils before handing them over to his cousin who just thanked him. 

"What do you usually do?" 

"Wake up, visit Atsumu, go to work, then sleep. Or wake up go to work, visit Atsumu then sleep. Or just wake up, visit Atsumu and then sleep." 

Komori gaped at his cousin. "That's it?"

"What else is there to do?" 

"I don't know Kiyoomi, maybe relax or have some fun every now and then?" 

"I can't." 

"Why can't you?" Komori pressed on. 

"Because of guilt! I can't go around having fun when Atsumu is there, all alone and suffering!" 

"Kiyoomi..." Komori got up and sat next to his cousin, thankful that there were barely any people in the café as he took his cousin in his arms. "Atsumu wouldn't hold it against you if you relaxed and had fun every now and then. I get that you're worried, we all are. But nobody is gonna fault you if you don't spend a whole day with Atsumu okay? Hell even Atsumu himself would probably kick your ass if he saw that this is how you're living your life."

"I just, I don't want to miss a day with him cos what if- what if - " 

"No. We won't think about that okay? Do you think Atsumu will be happy if he knew that you weren't taking care of yourself because you were too busy worrying about him?" 

"No."

"Exactly. So just take this day to relax okay?" 

Sakusa nodded and leaned more into his cousin's embrace. "Thank you Toya." 

"Anything for my baby cousin." Komori joked which had earned him a poke on his rib. 

"We're the same age shut up." 

With that, Komori moved back to where he was sat and dug in to his phone, smiling at how Sakusa's shoulders had relaxed slightly. They ate in relative silence, only speaking when they needed to and once they were done, Komori paid for the bill before dragging his cousin around. 

They walked around the city, Sakusa taking in the fresh air. It had been a while since he has truly spent a day like this, not cooped up at work or at the hospital. He hadn't realised how repetitive he'd lived his life ever since Atsumu was admitted, how he'd almost stopped doing everything he had loved to do in the past. He looked around and noticed how some things had remained the same whilst others changed, he didn't even realise that they had finished building that new apartment complex near the shopping mall. 

He let Komori drag him from shops to shops, smiling as he saw something that Atsumu would obviously drag him to. He imagined what it would be like if Atsumu was with them, how he would either argue with Komori or talk to him about him 'mean' Sakusa was being to him during practice. Sakusa couldn't help but smile at the thought of how adorable Atsumu would be, how he'd pout whilst complaining to Komori who would just tease him for being a baby. 

When they entered the shopping mall, there was a crowd around the middle of the building and out of curiosity, Komori dragged his cousin there, careful to make sure that the younger wouldn't feel too trapped in the crowd nor would he be accidentally bumping into others. Once they reached the front, they saw how there was a piano in the middle, a scoring board and a tv. Beside those was a table filled with prizes and another person in front of it holding a bucket and a clipboard. 

"What's going on?" Komori asked someone beside him. 

"They're holding a singing competition. You have to pay to take part but the proceeds go towards funds for Alzheimer's research. There's a prize if you win." 

Komori thanked the person and looked at his cousin who seemed to be in deep thoughts about something. Sakusa could feel Komori staring at him but he ignored it, opting to focus on the people on stage and how the host was asking the crowd to judge who was better between the three competitors on stage. Whoever had the loudest cheers had won and once they were off the stage, the host asked who would like to take part and to Sakusa's shock, Komori had volunteered for him. 

"What are you doing?" Sakusa hissed. 

"The proceeds go towards Alzheimer's research." Komori shrugged as he dragged his cousin on stage. 

Sakusa inwardly groaned as Komori introduced themselves to the host who were looking at them curiously. 

"Would it be okay if he both plays on the piano and sings?" Komori asked the host. Sakusa elbowed his cousin, not having agreed to singing but the brunette just ignored him. 

"Of course." the host agreed and gestured for them to go to the person with the clipboard. 

"Here you go." Komori said, handing over two 1000 yen notes and handing over an extra 5000 yen for donation. Sakusa reached in his wallet and handed the person another 5000 yen much to their surprise.

"I didn't agree to this." Sakusa hissed.

"Well too late." Komori stuck his tongue out at him before pushing him towards the stage. The host introduced him while Sakusa discreety wiped down the keys on the piano with the disinfectant wipes he had in his pocket. When he was done, he ran his hands through the keys, a feeling of nostalgia hitting him. It had been a while since he played. Before Komori had introduced him to volleyball, Sakusa was taking piano and singing lessons and had those to keep him busy, his parents and older siblings too busy to spend time with him. Music was his only company until Komori had started spending time with him. 

Sakusa would never admit it but he had a lonely childhood. A quiet child like himself, he had struggled to make friends so he buried himself in music and so when Komori had introduced volleyball to him, he found a sense of companionship with his teammates and that loneliness slowly ebbing away. It was through volleyball that he had found his first friend and rival in Ushijima and his first love in Atsumu. Safe to say, volleyball had brought happiness to him.

He had stopped his piano and singing lessons when he started high school but he never gave up on playing as a hobby, he could never forget his first companion after all. Whenever he saw one, he would be drawn towards it and would play a couple of songs. He did it before when him and Atsumu were out on a date they had come across a music store and Sakusa couldn't help but to sit and play on the piano, much to Atsumu's surprise. Ever since then, whenever Sakusa would play, Atsumu would lean on the piano and sing so obnoxiously that Sakusa would end up losing focus and laughing at how awful Atsumu had sounded. 

He remembered the first time he took Atsumu home and introduced him to his family. It was a family gathering in Sakusa's grandparents' home and when introductions were done, he took Atsumu to his grandparents' piano. As memories of that day played through his memories, Sakusa started playing the first song he had ever sang to Atsumu.

_"Omi! Be our guest!" Atsumu ever the Disney fan, had urged him. Sakusa chuckled as he started playing as Atsumu had sung along to it. When he stopped, Atsumu started whining but stopped when Sakusa gestured for him to sit beside him. Atsumu pouted but did as he was told._

_"Listen closely. This is my present to you."_

_With that, Sakusa started playing the familiar melody of 'Turning Page', as Atsumu listened intently beside him. Before he started singing, he looked at Atsumu who gaped as soon as he heard him._

_I’ve waited a hundred years  
But I’d wait a million more for you  
Nothing prepared me for  
What the privilege of being yours would do_

_As he sang, as he played the piano, memories of their time together flashed through Sakusa's mind, a smile making its way to his face. He remembered the first time he met Atsumu, he was horrified upon seeing the colour of the other man's hair, deeply curious as to why someone would do that to their own hair. When Atsumu approached him, he had opted to ignore the other man but didn't do anything to push him away. During that training camp, Atsumu would always find a way to approach him, to annoy him._

_Sakusa remembered texting Ushijima about it, asking his rival for advice on how to deal with a leech but in the end, all Ushijima said was 'if he is a good and talented setter, be sure to practice with him because it could be beneficial to you in the future Kiyoomi'. The raven haired was annoyed and was decidedly stuck with the hyperactive, blunt and sassy blond. He ignored the feeling of emptiness when they had to part ways after the training camp._

_Everytime they met, he would always hear that ridiculous nickname, what Sakusa had failed to realise was that the reason he always heard that nickname was because he was almost always actively looking for the source. He didn't know when the annoyance turned into longing, but it happened quite fast especially when he had joined MSBY._

_Atsumu did not know how much he had impacted Sakusa's life. How he had completely destroyed his feeling of loneliness, had filled the silence in his life and gave him the love he desperately craved growing up. So Sakusa decided to put all of his feelings in the song._

_I surrender who I’ve been for who you are  
For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart  
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours  
Well I would have known  
What I’ve been living for all along  
What I’ve been living for_

_When he fell in love with Atsumu, he decided that that was the best thing he has ever done. He decided that Atsumu was a treasure he would never let go off, a treasure that he would love and care for for as long as it takes._

_As he came to the end of the song, he glanced at Atsumu who was looking at him with glassy eyes, all the love he felt for Sakusa was evident in his eyes. When the song ended, Sakusa ended up having an armful of a crying Atsumu._

_"Omi!" Atsumu cried in his arms. Sakusa laughed as he wrapped his arms around the love of his life._

_"I can't believe you never told me you could sing!" Atsumu whined, lightly poking Sakusa's ribs._

_"You never asked." Sakusa reasoned. Atsumu had let go of him and kissed him softly, Sakusa reciprocating straight away._

_"Thank you Omi. I'm also privileged to be yours. You are my greatest gift."_

_"I love you Tsumu."_

_"I love you too Omi, so much."_

_Their moment was ruined as Komori had clapped sarcastically behind them, letting out fake sobs._

_"God who knew you could be such a sap Yoomi." Komori teased._

_The moment after that was a blur as Sakusa chased his cousin as Atsumu let out that loud, melodious laughter of his._

When the song came to an end, a round of applause was heard, breaking Sakusa from his thoughts. When he looked up, he thought he had seen Atsumu in the crowd but he knew that that was just his mind playing tricks on him. He had bowed at the audience and walked towards his cousin who looked at him sympathetically. 

"Let's go." Sakusa had said, pulling his cousin away.

"But what about the prize?" 

"Doesn't matter to me." Sakusa had shrugged. As they walked off, Komori decided not to say anything knowing full well that his cousin is probably lost in his thoughts. As they wandered around the street, they both took note of the fact that the sun was already setting.

"I kinda want to go say hi to Atsumu. Is that okay?" Komori asked, watching as his cousin slightly perked up at hearing Atsumu's name. Sakusa had nodded and started walking in the direction of the hospital, thanking the deities that they were close by. 

"Wait here." Sakusa had said before enter the florists only to come out moments later with a bouquet of tulips. Komori raised an eyebrow, remembering when Suna had mentioned that every day Sakusa would go to the florists and bring Atsumu a bouquet of flowers. Komori had thought Suna was exaggerating, now he groaned at the thought of owing his teammate an apology. 

As they walked towards the hospital, he observed how Sakusa seemed to be in a better mood to which he was glad for. When they entered the building, he followed Sakusa quietly, not saying a word as the raven haired man touched the petals in the bouquet. Komori wanted to ask him why Sakusa brings a whole bouquet of flowers every time he visits but was cut off when the elevator dinged and Sakusa hurrying to Atsumu's room. 

When the door opened, Komori was met with Osamu and Suna leaning onto his side, both looking so exhausted as Atsumu slept in his bed. 

"What happened?" Sakusa asked, sounding so alert as he placed the bouquet on the nightstand. 

Osamu and Suna got up as they greeted Komori, who looked at them concerned. Osamu looked like he had been crying, eyes bloodshot and looking so haggard as Suna comforted him. 

"Tsumu had been so agitated all day. He wouldn't eat and kept losing consciousness." 

Sakusa felt dread creeping up as he watched Osamu struggle to get his words out, watched as Suna blinked back his tears. Both feeling that way could only mean one thing and that's the one thing Sakusa has been dreading. Komori quickly walked to his cousin's side, reaching out as Sakusa aggressively shook his head, seeming to deny the newfound information. 

"T-the doctor said w-we should pre-prepare-"

"No!" Sakusa bawled, as he collapsed on the floor, Komori following him and taking his younger cousin in his arms. Sakusa shook as tears streamed down his face, regret and guilt overwhelming him at having gone and had a fun day while Atsumu was struggling. He could feel his lungs tighten, his vision getting blurry as it got harder to breathe.

Komori tried to calm Sakusa down who was having a panic attack, Suna and Osamu both trying to calm the youngest down. 

Sakusa tried to calm down, he really did but as he looked at Atsumu who lay unmoving on the bed, everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> flower meaning  
> tulips - a declaration of love, perfect love
> 
> the song Sakusa sang for Atsumu is called Turning Page by Sleeping At Last


	7. Day Seven

When Sakusa woke up he recoiled at the unfamiliar place, noting how it was already dark. He groaned as he sat up, flashes of the days events hitting him all at once. Pushing his blankets off to the side, he detached the IV drip and quickly put his slippers on and ran to where Atsumu's room was, ignoring all the curious glances some of the staff were giving him. The raven haired man let out a sigh of relief when he realised that he only needed to get up two flights of stairs before he could see Atsumu again. 

If he had to, he would spend every waking moment with the man, not wanting to let him go just yet. Scouting the area to see if there were any staff around before making a move towards Atsumu's room, noticing how there was nobody there. 

_'It must be past visiting hours.'_ Sakusa thought as he slipped in to the room. He took a seat next to Atsumu's bed and took the sleeping man's hands in his, giving it a light kiss, careful not to wake him up. 

He watched the rise and fall of Atsumu's chest and listened to the familiar beating of the monitor before he subtly started to relax. He's still here. Atsumu looked almost delicate, as the moonlight streamed through the curtains, reflecting on Atsumu's sleeping face. Catching a glimpse of the bouquet of tulips he had brought earlier on the nightstand, an almost apologetic feeling took over Sakusa. 

"I'm sorry I couldn't bring you a bouquet. I know I promised to bring one every time I visited." he whispered, gently caressing Atsumu's cheeks.

_Sakusa was running late, work had kept him longer than usual. He started sprinting towards the hospital where Atsumu was no doubt waiting for him, probably pouting because of how late Sakusa was. The closer he got to the hospital, the faster he ran until he ran past a florist. He had backtracked and saw all the beautiful flowers on display, opting to go in and get a bouquet of roses to placate Atsumu if the man was sulking badly. Once he had paid for the bouquet, he took off once again and once he had reached the hospital and got up to Atsumu's room, he wasted no time in going inside._

_As expected, the man was sulking on his bed as an unfamiliar red book lay forgotten on his lap._

_"I'm sorry I'm late." Sakusa apologised. Atsumu just looked at him before letting out a loud 'hmph' and turned away from him. Sakusa sighed before walking over to his boyfriend and pulling him into a hug, putting the bouquet of roses in his line of sight._

_"I got held up at work. I got this for you as an apology." Sakusa tried again. He watched as Atsumu slowly reached out towards the bouquet and took it in his hands. He seemed to have been contemplating on what to say before nodding and placing a wet kiss (much to Sakusa's slight disgust) on his boyfriend's cheek._

_"Thank you. You're forgiven Omi." Atsumu answered, a radiant smile on his face. Sakusa cheered in his head before pulling the other closer to him and placing a kiss on his forehead._

_"You know, if you brought me flowers everyday I'd be the happiest man on earth." Atsumu added as an afterthought in a light joking tone._

_"Okay, if it'll make you happy I promise to bring you flowers everyday." Sakusa promised._

_"It was a joke Omi!" Atsumu chuckled. Sakusa just ignored him, thinking about what kind of flowers he would bring Atsumu tomorrow._

_Atsumu had claimed it was a joke but Sakusa knew he meant it. It wasn't everyday he got flowers from Sakusa, this kind of romantic gesture was usually saved for their date nights and special occasions so the fact that Sakusa would give him some, the blond wouldn't pass up on it._

_Sakusa took the roses from Atsumu's hands and placed them on the nightstand as he gently ran his hands through the blonde's hair, humming a song under his breath and eventually lulling the other man to sleep._

_"Goodnight my love."_

As he leaned his head on the side of the bed, Atsumu's breathing eventually lulled him to sleep, feeling a familiar brush on his hair as he drifted off to sleep. 

When he woke up in the morning, it was because of the sunlight hitting him on the face. He stretched his stiff muscles, careful not to wake Atsumu up as he slowly let go of the other's hand. Checking the clock on the wall, he realised that it was only eight in the morning which means that he has two more hours until Osamu comes to visit. He looked at Atsumu and listening closely to the heart monitor before reluctantly deciding to just go home and shower then head back straight after. Placing a soft kiss on Atsumu's forehead, Sakusa headed back to the room he woke up in earlier and grabbed his things before making his way to his apartment. 

He let out a sigh of relief when he realised that Komori wasn't there, knowing full well that his cousin would not leave him alone and would nag at him to take better care of himself. He quickly took his clothes off and threw them in the laundry basket before hopping in the shower, letting the hot water soothe his muscles and clear his mind. 

Once he had scrubbed away all the germs, he got changed and checked his phone, surprised at the amount of messages he had received from his friends. The raven haired man shook his head at seeing 25 missed calls from his cousin and a barrage of texts. As he was about to reply to his cousin, his phone started ringing. 

_Wakatoshi_

Frowning, he quickly answered the call knowing full well that Ushijima never called unless it was an emergency. 

"Kiyoomi." that deep, baritone voice rang through the speakers. 

"Wakatoshi, what's the matter?" Sakusa answered, concerned. 

"I would ask you the same thing. Where are you? I am outside of your building. Komori has been looking for you." Looking out of his window, he was shocked to see that the stoic man was actually outside. 

"Come up. I'll let you in." Ending the call, Sakusa pressed the button to open up the entrance door and unlocked his front door before heading to the kitchen to boil some water for tea. He sulked at the thought of being apart from Atsumu longer but it would also be rude to tell Ushijima to go away. Upon hearing that tell tale sign of the door opening and closing, Sakusa took both mugs to the living room, placing them in the coffee table as Ushijima made himself comfortable on the couch. 

"What happened Kiyoomi? Komori called me because you just disappeared from the hospital. He went to see you in your hospital room but you were gone and you weren't by Atsumu's either." Ushijima started, picking up his mug and giving Kiyoomi a concerned look. 

"I'm okay. I just decided to come home to shower. I was just about to head back to the hospital." 

Ushijima just sat and stared at him while sipping his tea, not saying anything. Kiyoomi started to fidget in discomfort at Ushijima's blank stare, unsure of what the other man is thinking. Instead, he took in his friend's appearance and noticing that he was dressed in his training clothes. Had Ushijima looked for him instead of going to practice? He frowned at the thought, not liking the idea that his friend might have skipped an important practice to look for him. 

"I heard about Atsumu." Ushijima pointed out, breaking the silence. Sakusa felt his shoulders tense. He didn't say anything, instead chose to look at Ushijima who had that same stoic look on his face. 

"Whatever self blame you have going on, stop." Sakusa recoiled at that. Self blame? He glared at Ushijima who wasn't fazed by the stare.

"You don't know what you're talking about." he gritted his teeth. 

"I do Kiyoomi. Komori told me how you collapsed after finding out about Atsumu's condition. How you were probably wallowing in guilt and self blame for having a relaxing day when Atsumu was getting worse." 

"Well what did you expect me to do? Smile? I can't relax when Atsumu is - when Atsumu is-"

"Of course not. You are allowed to grieve, you are allowed to be sad. You don't always have to plaster a smile on your face and pretend you are happy with the situation. It's okay to feel frustrated that Atsumu has forgotten you, it's okay to feel upset that he seems to see you as a stranger, it is also okay to feel angry. What isn't okay is that you take everything out on yourself." 

"Wakatoshi-" Sakusa started, shoulders relaxing. But before he could continue, he was pinned with a stare, stopping him from interrupting the older man. 

"Kiyoomi, you are not taking care of yourself. You are forcing these fake emotions and holding everything in. All the sadness, anger, frustration and loneliness that you are holding in is taking its toll on you. When Atsumu was diagnosed, you both knew what that meant. There is no cure to Alzheimer's. I am not saying you should accept that Atsumu will eventually go, but what I am saying is that you stop taking it all out on yourself when it is beyond your control. You cannot control what Atsumu remembers and you cannot control how fast that awful illness will take him, you are not a god Kiyoomi. You cannot find a cure, you cannot make a miracle happen. 

But what you can do is take care of yourself. You can lean on everyone who cares about you, who loves you and will offer their shoulder to you when you need someone to lean on. What you can do is live for Atsumu. Do you think he will tolerate you acting like this? If I can assume what he will say, I think Atsumu himself would say, and I quote, 'Get a grip Omi!'. You had already given up your career and your time for him and if you give up your life for him too, I can guarantee that if Atsumu knew, it would destroy him."

Sakusa gaped at the man. In all the years he had known Ushijima, he had not heard the man speak so much in his life. As the words registered, Sakusa felt tears welling in his eyes. Ushijima is right. He is not a god because if he was, Atsumu wouldn't be like this. He turned away and tried to blink back his tears. 

"Don't." Ushijima said, moving closer towards Kiyoomi. "Let it all out."

As if on command, the dam broke and Sakusa's tears started flowing down his cheeks. He felt Ushijima's arm wrap around him as he leaned onto the other man's shoulders, all of his feelings hitting him all at once. All the frustrations, sorrows, dejectedness and heartbreak all pushing him to the brink. He sobbed as Ushijima rubbed his back in a comforting and soothing manner, the older man not saying anything, instead staying as a silent pillar for his friend to lean on. 

"It hurts. Every time he looks at me as if I was a stranger, every time he cowers in fear whenever he sees me after he has just woken up. It hurts. I wish that he would remember me sometimes. I hate how it had to be Atsumu of all people. He was healthy, I don't understand. He took great care of his body but why did he have to get Alzheimer's?!" Sakusa sobbed. 

Ushijima let him speak, knowing full well that Sakusa needed to let everything out. 

"I know there's nothing I can do to cure him but I can't help but feel like I should have taken him to see a doctor sooner. Maybe if I had noticed, I could have probably delayed his fast deterioration. If I had noticed sooner, maybe I could have had more time with him." 

"You could not have known Kiyoomi. You are not a doctor and you could not have known about it."

"I didn't even get the chance to ask him to marry me." Sakusa whispered, tears on his face. Surprised at the revelation, Ushijima did his best to hide his shock. He had no idea that Sakusa was going to propose. 

"Then do it. Propose to him." Ushijima told him. Sakusa looked at him as if he was crazy. 

"He doesn't even remember me." 

"Then show him."

"How?"

"I do not know Kiyoomi. Maybe tell him a story and then propose. I don't know, I am not a romantic." Ushijima deadpanned. 

Sakusa's tears started to lessen as he stared at Ushijima before he disappeared into his room, only to reappear with a small velvet box. Ushijima just raised an eyebrow at him. 

"Come with me." 

"Okay."

With that, they both headed out of the apartment and walked in relative silence. Ushijima just followed his friend, not willing to leave him alone. As they stopped in front of a florist shop, Ushijima waited outside as he looked in through the window, remembering the promise he had made a while back.

_Ushijima waited at the café near the Adler's gym, a cup of tea already in front of him. When the door opened, he listened to the footsteps that made its way towards where he sat and when he looked up, he was greeted by Atsumu who gave him a small smile._

_"Hi Ushijima." Atsumu greeted._

_"Hello. What did you want to talk about?" he had asked, straight to the point as usual._

_"So blunt Ushiwaka." Atsumu joked. He had sat quietly at first, as if deep in thought. Ushijima left him to his thoughts, opting to wait patiently instead._

_"You know about my diagnosis right?" Astumu asked. Ushijima just nodded in response. "Well I have a favour to ask you."_

_Ushijima just raised an eyebrow at him, putting his mug down. "What is it?"_

_He watched as Atsumu fidgeted in front of him, noticed how the other man took a deep breath before speaking._

_"I know that this disease will eventually take me and I know it will crush Omi. I know I'll end up probably hurting him and that he'll probably self destruct with worry. What I'm trying to ask you is if you could be there for him when everything gets too bad? When I've reached the final stage or something."_

_Not even taking time to think, Ushijima nodded. He watched as Atsumu seemed to deflate with relief._

_"I know that Omi can be stubborn but he's always held you to a high regard. You were his first friend and rival, he looks up to you in some way which is why I think you're the only one who can get through his thick skull."_

_"I will try. Kiyoomi is also a good friend, I will not let him suffer." Ushijima promised._

_"Thank you and if the going ever gets too tough, tell him to get a grip!" Atsumu joked. Ushijima gave him a small smile before finishing his tea._

_"Well I have to go now Atsumu. I offer you my prayers."_

_With that promise in mind, he prayed that Atsumu and Sakusa would have more time, that the deities above be generous with them._

After a couple of minutes, Sakusa emerged from the florist, a bouquet of lisianthus and baby's breath in his hands. Ushijima didn't say anything as he followed Sakusa to the hospital and once they have reached Atsumu's room, Ushijima hovered by the door, unsure of whether he should go inside or not. At seeing the look Sakusa gave him, he followed him into the room, noticing how Osamu, Komori and Suna were looking at him, not even hiding the shock on their faces.

"Hello." Ushijima greeted them. "I have brought Kiyoomi."

Komori walked over to Sakusa and punched his cousin on the shoulder. 

"You had me worried." Komori scolded before pulling Sakusa into a hug. Sakusa hugged his cousin back and apologised for his actions before making his way to Atsumu, who lay quietly in his bed.

"Hi." he whispered. When Atsumu didn't look at him, he clutched the bouquet tighter as the box in his pocket felt heavier that before. Sakusa was too focused on what he wanted to say that he didn't realise that the room had emptied out, leaving him and Atsumu alone. 

"I know you don't remember me, my name is Sakusa Kiyoomi." Sakusa held in a sob as Atsumu looked at him upon hearing his name. 

"I want to tell you a story, is that okay?" when the older didn't say anything, Sakusa took that as a cue to continue. He sat on the chair by the bed and fiddled with the bouquet for a bit before taking a deep breath. 

"There was once two people who loved each other a lot. But it wasn't always like that. When they first met in high school, the younger out of the two would always push this man with piss colour hair and is the embodiment of sunshine away. He pushed him away so much that when the sunshine left, clouds started to appear and loneliness started raining down on him. He hated the feeling of his heart racing every time he saw this person, so he tried to avoid him as much as he could. 

After high school, they didn't see each other but he never forgot his sunshine and it was only when they met again and became a team, that he finally accepted the feeling that he hated. He started looking forward to seeing his sunshine, he looked forward to seeing that dazzling smile and those fantastic sets he always showed in games. He started accepting the fact that he was falling, every waking moment he spent with his sunshine, he fell harder and before he knew it, the clouds disappeared. 

When they started dating, he vowed to always catch him, to never let him fall and reach the ground. He had once said in a horrible attempt at metaphors that he'd 'receive as many times as he can, as long as his sunshine never hits the ground'. Of course his sunshine took it and turned it into an innuendo. But one day, everything went downhill. 

His sunshine fell ill and started forgetting him. Day by day, his memories were torn apart and taken away by his illness, eventually leaving the man behind to remember all the memories they had made."

Sakusa wiped away the tear that had fallen, not having the courage to look at Atsumu, at least not yet. 

"The man wanted to propose, he had plans of a happy ever after. But it seemed like that was not what God had planned for him. As days went on, the man watched as his love smiled and joked with others, as he was left behind and seen as a stranger. He told himself that it was okay, that he could love for the both of them and so, as days went by, he would re-introduce himself to his love, to his sunshine. 

He still held on to the good days when he would be remembered. He never misses a day, he would always visit and soon, it became a permanent part of his routine and without realising it, a couple of years had passed since he starting running after the man who no longer remembered."

The more he kept going, the harder it felt to hold his tears in. He thought he had let it all out but it seemed like there were still more. As he wiped his tears away, he looked at Atsumu in the eyes. 

"Although he got upset and frustrated, not once did he have an ounce of resentment for his sunshine. He would still run after his sunshine because he was a fool in love."

Atsumu's eyes widened as a flash of something appeared in his eyes before it was gone. 

"I'll always love you Tsumu, no mattter what." Sakusa whispered, meeting Atsumu's gaze. He got out the box in his pocket and held it for a while before placing it gently in Atsumu's hand, not missing how Atsumu's hand felt ice cold. 

"This should go to its supposed owner." Sakusa also placed the bouquet on the nightstand before getting up. He wanted to place a kiss on Atsumu's forehead but he didn't want to scare the other man. 

Feeling lighter for the first time in a really long time, Sakusa headed for the door and met Osamu, Suna, Komori and Ushijima just outside the door and once the door shut, a hoarse voice resounded in the empty room. 

"-Mi-O-o-mi." 

As Sakusa headed out for fresh air with Suna and Ushijima, Osamu went back in the room and found his twin clutching a small velvet box in his hand with dried tears in his face and confusion lacing his eyes.

And if Osamu never said anything about that to Sakusa, it was his own choice, no longer wanting to see his brother's boyfriend hurt after looking so relaxed for the first time in a very long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry guys this chapter was a little long <3
> 
> flower meanings  
> lisianthus - gratitude, charm, and an everlasting bond.  
> baby's breath - everlasting love, innocence and purity.


	8. Day Eight

Sakusa carried Atsumu back into the room as Osamu finished changing the sheets. As soon as Osamu gave a signal, Sakusa gently placed a sleeping Atsumu back on the bed, the man having lost consciousness as soon as Sakusa finished cleaning him up. After tucking him in, Sakusa sat in the seat by the bed whilst Osamu took the spare one. 

"Man, if Atsumu was still himself I would've teased him for pissing himself." Osamu joked. Sakusa just gave him a small smile as he sent off a quick text to Ushijima. 

"Hey." Osamu started, catching Sakusa's attention. 

"Yeah?" 

Osamu looked at him for a while, seeming to contemplate what to say until he just settled at shaking his head. "Nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Forget it." Sakusa eyed him suspiciously before turning to look at Atsumu's sleeping face and taking his hand in his. He observed the rise and fall of Atsumu's chest once more, as he touched the ring that adorned Atsumu's ring finger. 

Sakusa had asked Osamu about it but apparently he had no clue who put it on Atsumu. They think it must have been one of the night staff who saw the ring and put it on, regardless, Sakusa was happy that he was able to see the ring on Atsumu's finger. It was a bit loose but not loose enough that it would fall off. 

Gently brushing Atsumu's hair off his face, Sakusa admired the man he's loved, the man who is his first love. No matter how annoying the other could be, Sakusa thought it was one of his charms. Every time he watches Atsumu lying unmoving in his bed, he finds himself missing the way the other man would wrap himself around Sakusa like a koala and tease him endlessly. 

Atsumu would grate on Sakusa's nerves and the raven haired let him. Not because he loved him, but because that's what made Atsumu, well Atsumu. If he wasn't an annoying piece of shit, then he wouldn't be Sakusa's Atsumu. Sakusa couldn't help but feel like he took those moments for granted now that he couldn't have them back. 

"You're so disgustingly in love." Osamu barfed.

"Like you're any different." Sakusa shot back. 

Just then, the door opened and a strong aroma filled the room. Sakusa felt his stomach grumble as Suna came in with two bags of takeaway.

"I brought food." he announced, putting it down on the coffee table. 

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" Osamu groaned, taking Suna in his arms and kissing the other man's temple. 

"You're so disgustingly in love." Sakusa echoed back. Osamu just removed himself from Suna and childishly stuck a tongue out at him. The younger just rolled his eyes as he thanked Suna for the food before the three of them started digging in. 

This was the first ounce of normalcy they've had since the doctor told them to prepare for the worst. Sakusa wasn't sure if he should relax or not and he was sure Osamu felt the same, the other man looking like he hadn't slept in weeks, his eye bags looking worse than Sakusa's. 

They never talked to each other about the what ifs, opting to have a silent agreement of being there with Atsumu whenever they can. 

"How are you holding up?" Suna asked.

"I've been okay. Wakatoshi has been making sure I'm okay since yesterday and Toya wouldn't leave me alone."

"Komori has been worried about you." Suna confirmed. 

"What about you?" Sakusa asked. Suna's eyes widened before he looked down at his food.

"I-I've been alright I guess." Suna whispered. Sakusa watched as Osamu took Suna's hand in his, giving it a gentle kiss. 

"You don't have to stay strong for all of us Rin." 

"I agree. Atsumu is your best friend, no matter how much you'd both deny it." 

Suna started shaking as his efforts of staying strong started to crumble. Sakusa watched empathetically as Suna tried to compose himself, but alas, the tears broke free. Osamu put his utensils down as he took Suna in his arms, the man sobbing as he tried to say his frustrations. 

Sakusa couldn't help the feeling of envy as he watched the engaged couple, wishing that he could hold Atsumu in his arms too. He looked longingly at Atsumu before giving the couple in front of him his full attention. 

"It's okay to feel sad. Wakatoshi told me, that you don't have to hold everything in. You have pillars of support around you, always willing to lend you a shoulder to lean or to cry on."

Sakusa comforted him. Suna looked up and gave him a thankful smile, wiping his tears away.

"I know we're not that close but-" Sakusa started but was interrupted by Osamu.

"What do you mean not close? Don't bullshit me Kiyoomi. You're pretty much family." the man said with a tone of finality.

"Exactly. These past few years, you've been a permanent fixture in our lives. You were always family anyways since Atsumu was always so set on marrying you. We might as well have been in laws." Suna joked. 

Sakusa let a fond smile escape. "Thank you." 

Osamu nodded before digging back into his food as a comforting silence filled the air. As soon as they finished eating, they started putting all the trash away. 

"Hello. I'd like to tell you that visiting hours is over." a nurse announced from the door. 

The trio just nodded at her as she disappeared. Osamu held the trash in his hands as he walked over to Atsumu and turned the lamp on in the nightstand.

"Oi, hold on for one more day okay?" Osamu said. "I love you Tsumu." 

After giving his twin an awkward hug, Suna took his place. "You better be here for another three years dipshit."

Lightly punching the sleeping man's shoulder, Suna walked over to where Osamu was waiting.

"Text us when you get home." Osamu said to Sakusa who just nodded in response before the couple disappeared. 

Sakusa moved to Atsumu before making sure that his hands were tucked in the blanket properly so they don't get too cold overnight. Once the man was properly tucked in, Sakusa placed a kiss on his forehead.

"Sleep well my love. I'll see you tomorrow." 

With that, he grabbed all of his things and headed out of the room, turning the lights off in the process. 

As he walked back to his apartment, he watched clouds cover the moon. He observed his surroundings and noticed his elderly neighbour carrying multiple bags of groceries. Without any hesitation, Sakusa walked over to her and offered his help, to which she gratefully accepted. 

Once they were in their apartment complex, he helped her until she was by her door. Wishing her a good night, Sakusa entered his own apartment and headed straight to the shower after sending Osamu a quick text that he had made it home. Once he was done showering, he quickly got changed and sat on the bed, as he dried his hair. 

Osamu had sent him a reply, a simple thumbs up with the accompanying message 'good night'. Sakusa also replied to Komori who was mothering him, making sure that he got home safe and had dinner. He even received some messages from Bokuto and Hinata who were talking to him about today's practice and how Meian announced he was getting married. 

Sakusa smiled at the news, happy that someone is at least getting a happy ending. 

As soon as his hair was dried, Sakusa turned the light off and lay back down on the bed, welcoming sleep as he dreamt about the man who stole his heart. 

_"Omi!" Atsumu shouted. Sakusa looked around and they were in a volleyball court as Atsumu waved at him from where he stood by the trolley that was filled with volleyballs._

_Sakusa let out a bright smile as he ran towards the blond, wrapping him in his arms and hugging him tight, not willing to let him go._

_"You must've missed me huh?"_

_"Shut it Tsumu." he mumbled, voice muffled from where he pressed his lips on Atsumu's neck._

_"Omi that tickles!" Atsumu giggled as he pushed the man away. Sakusa looked down as a small pout formed on his lips at being pushed away. Atsumu let out that loud melodious laugh of his as he placed his hands on both sides of Sakusa's face and pulled the taller down, placing a kiss on his lips. Sakusa pulled him closer, deepening the kiss and looking disappointed when Atsumu pulled away._

_"I'll give you more later. Now, practice with me." Atsumu demanded. He picked a ball up and gave it to Sakusa who took it without any hesitation._

_"Will you set for me Tsumu?"_

_"Always."_

_Sakusa beamed at that before kissing Atsumu's cheek and moving in place. He threw the ball at Atsumu as he ran towards the net before the man gave him a perfect set, Sakusa spiking the ball and hearing that satisfying sound of the ball meeting the ground._

_He never realised how much he had missed playing. He looked down at his palm, red from the impact._

_"Is that all you can do Omi? That was weak." Atsumu taunted. Sakusa glared at him before going back into position. Atsumu served a ball to him which he received, Atsumu moving to set it and once the ball was back up in the air, Sakusa spiked it down once more, this time rotating his wrists to make sure the ball landed in the corner of the court._

_"That's my Omi." Atsumu cheered. Sakusa could feel the thrill running through his veins as he watched the ball roll across the court._

_"Again." he said and before he knew it, time had passed. He eventually called for a break, sitting on the bench at the side of the court, Atsumu following him. The shorter leaned his head on Sakusa's shoulder as they both looked at the court, memories of their time playing together flashing through their memories. They watched as the sunlight seeped through the windows, shedding light on the court._

_Sakusa took Atsumu's hands in his, gently lacing their fingers together as he placed a kiss on top of the man's head._

_"I missed you Tsumu." he whispered. Atsumu looked at him with those doe eyes of his, before leaning in to kiss Sakusa's nose._

_"I'm always with you. Right here." he replied, tapping Sakusa's chest._

_"I wish I never wake up from this."_

_"Oh don't say that Omi. You have so much to live for."_

_"I don't think I can live without you."_

_"They say I'm the dramatic one." Atsumu joked, bumping his shoulder with Sakusa's._

_"I just- you've been in my life for so long I don't know what I would do if you're not there anymore. Every day I look forward to seeing you and that might get taken away from me. I don't want to lose you Tsumu. You're the most important person in my life, losing you would mean losing a part of me too."_

_Atsumu wrapped his arm around Sakusa's middle, listening to the man speak._

_"We were supposed make it to the Olympics together. We were supposed to get married and I was supposed to serenade you at our wedding, as everyone cringes at the corniness of it all. We were supposed to adopt dogs then maybe adopt some kids. We were supposed to grow old together. You were supposed to annoy me for the rest of my life. You were supposed to be by my side._

_I was supposed to watch you bicker with everyone in your life and laugh as they tease you back. I was supposed to have my partner in crime by my side for the rest of my life. But now, I'm being robbed of that. Instead, I have to wake up everyday dreading when you may leave me."_

_As tears started running down his face, Atsumu cupped his cheeks and wiped those tears away. He leaned in and kissed Sakusa's eyelids as he pulled the man into his arms._

_"What happened to forever Tsumu?"_

_Atsumu's heart broke at seeing Sakusa so distraught, so heartbroken at the thought of losing him._

_"I'm sorry Omi. I guess forever will have to wait hm?"_

_Atsumu seemed to look at something in a far distance before he turned back to Sakusa. He placed his hands on both sides of Sakusa's face, wiping away his tears as he looked him in the eyes with a stern look._

_"Listen to me Omi and listen well. If you ruin yourself because of me, I won't be able to find peace. You are one of the most important people in my life and it would absolutely destroy me if you ruin your life because of your grief. So can you promise me something?"_

_Sakusa nodded, not looking away from Atsumu. He watched as Atsumu brushed his hair out of his face._

_"Promise me that you will look after yourself, that you won't let this destroy you. Promise me that once you're ready, to take up volleyball once again. You can even take the both of us to the Olympics, as long as I live in your heart. Promise me that you won't ever stray from the people in your life, that you won't push them away but lean on them instead. Can you do that for me?"_

_Sakusa nodded. "I promise."_

_Atsumu gave him that smile, the one that Sakusa loves the most as he looked at him with that loving gaze. "Can you promise me one more thing?"_

_"Of course." Sakusa promised, sniffing as he held Atsumu's hand that was still currently cupping his face._

_"Promise me you'll look after Samu. Although he's an asshole, he's still my brother and whether he likes it or not, I love that dipshit with all my heart. Promise that you'll also look out for Sunarin. Kick their asses if they ever hurt each other."_

_Sakusa couldn't help the smile from spreading on his face. "I promise."_

_"Good." Atsumu leaned in to place a gentle kiss on Sakusa's lips. When they separated, Atsumu looked at the distance once more, an unreadable expression on his face._

_"Can you tell Samu and Sunarin how much I love them and that I'm thankful for all that they've done for me."_

_"I will."_

_"Thank you." as Atsumu looked at the distance once more, he leaned into Sakusa's embrace. The younger wrapping his arms around Atsumu tightly, not wanting to let go just yet. As his sight started to get blurry, Sakusa tried to blink the blurriness away but to not avail._

_"I think it's time for you to wake up." Atsumu whispered. He moved back slightly, just enough that they could look at each other properly._

_"I'll see you later Omi-omi. I love you." Atsumu said, loving look in his eyes. Sakusa reached out as his vision started to go, Atsumu staying until everything went dark._

When Sakusa opened his eyes, he was in his room, the feeling of loneliness engulfing him. 

"I love you too."


	9. Day Nine

The sun was out today, shining brighter in the sky leading Sakusa to believe that today was going to be a good day. Despite this, he still had a gnawing feeling in his chest, an uneasy feeling that was making him all sorts of paranoid ever since he woke up from that dream. Which is why he was walking a lot faster to the hospital than he normally did. He couldn't find it in him to stop by the florist, feeling like time is running out, so he started picking up speed as the bad feeling started to grow the closer he was.

Once he was in Atsumu's floor, he watched as doctors were running down the hallway, a frightening feeling clawing its way up as he realised where they were going. He ran to Atsumu's room only to find Osamu on the floor, heart-breaking sobs echoing in the room as Suna tried to comfort the other man while tears streamed down his own face. 

Sakusa looked on in horror as that familiar beating from the machine was no longer there as doctors desperately tried to bring Atsumu back. The raven haired man stood frozen by the door as he watched the doctors try to bring Atsumu back as Osamu broke down, hysterically begging for them to bring Atsumu back. 

Sakusa collapsed on the floor as the doctors finally stopped moving. 

"Time of death 10:07am, Date, 15th January 2020." 

As soon as the words left the doctor's mouth, Sakusa felt his world coming to a still. Everything seemed to slow down as he watched the doctor place a white sheet over Atsumu's lifeless body. He could no longer hear Osamu's sobs nor Suna's comforting words, all he could see was his love being taken from him. 

He watched as Osamu scrambled up to hold on to his twin, the doctors moving away as Osamu hugged Atsumu's lifeless body, shoulders shaking as he sobbed into his twin's chest. Sakusa could do nothing but watch as Suna attempted to pry Osamu off, as the doctors watched them pitifully. Suna, with tears running down his cheeks, held on to Osamu as he looked at his best friend. 

He didn't know how long it took, how long he sat there on the dirty ground watching as the doctors left to give them some space. He didn't know how long he sat there, unmoving as he watched the love of his life be held by the people who loved him most in his short life. He didn't know how long he was sat there, staring, hoping that Atsumu's eyes would open and that this was all just a nightmare. 

How can he be met by such a bleak sight after such a wonderful dream?

"-Tsumu you jerk. How dare you leave me?!" Osamu cried, holding on tightly to his twin's body. "How dare you just leave!" 

Sakusa stared at the scene vision blurry. He stared as Osamu deflated, stared as Osamu's legs finally gave out all whilst never letting go of his twin's hand.

"Tsumu... Please come back..." he begged. "I promise I won't tease you anymore. I promise to give you all the onigiris you want. Just- just please come back."

Suna embraced Osamu, pulling the man into his arms as he cried silently, desperately trying to stay strong for all of them. Osamu was inconsolable and Sakusa was in a state of shock.

Sakusa didn't know when, but it seemed like his own feet had a mind of their own as they were taking him towards Atsumu. He couldn't bring himself to say anything as he choked back his own sobs, instead, reaching forward and brushing the man's hair off his face. 

He looked at the way the man's face was really pale, how cold his skin was but what caught him off guard by how different this Atsumu was from the one in his dreams, caught off guard by how peaceful Atsumu looked. Despite looking like he had his life sucked out of him, the man looked at peace.

"You must've suffered a lot huh?" Sakusa whispered.

The raven haired man leaned in and pressed his ear to Atsumu's chest, hoping to hear that familiar sound of his beating heart. When it was soundless, reality crashed on Sakusa. The dam broke as he sobbed in Atsumu's chest, much like he had in his dreams. He had desperately wanted to have those arms wrap themselves around him, to feel that familiar warm touch once more but in the end, he was left alone as he grieved his lover. 

Sakusa didn't know how long he was there for, just silently crying, silently mourning Atsumu but when he felt a small touch on his back, he knew he had to let go. Taking Atsumu's hand in his, he leaned over and placed a kiss on his forehead. 

"I'll keep all my promises Tsumu. I'll look after Osamu and Suna, so just take it easy okay?" leaning his head on Atsumu's shoulder, he took a deep breath, trying to breath in Atsumu's scent for the final time. "I'll see you later my love. I-I love you, so so much."

He took in Atsumu's peaceful face one more time before Suna took his arm, pulling him to where he stood with a sobbing Osamu. They watched as the doctors put the sheet over Atsumu once again before rolling him out of the room. A nurse came to tell them something but Sakusa couldn't hear, all the noise seemed to have been blocked out as he stared into the space where Atsumu's bed was. 

He imagined Atsumu sitting there, reading a book as Sakusa comes in to the room. He imagined Atsumu looking up and giving him that beautiful smile he loved so much. Sakusa wished he could have that one more time. 

Suna seemed to be saying something to the both of them, Sakusa wanted to listen, he really did, but in the end his own legs gave out. Suna tried to help him up, worry written all over his face. Sakusa just watched as Suna tried to say something, anything.

"You should say goodbye to him too." Sakusa let out. Suna blinked at him, unsure of what to say. "It's okay. I'll look after Osamu, I promised Astumu after all. Now go." 

Suna didn't know what to say, frozen from where he was crouching in front of Sakusa. He didn't move until Sakusa and Osamu started pushing him to go, to catch up to the doctors, to say goodbye to Osamu. At both of their urging, Suna looked at them worriedly before walking off, shoulders shaking. 

As soon as Suna had left, Sakusa slumped against the wall with Osamu by his side. It seemed like Osamu's sobs had eased, but his tears hadn't stopped. He almost had a faraway look in his face so Sakusa didn't say anything. He didn't even know what to say, after all, how can he comfort someone else if he himself is hurt too. They sat there in silence, both seemingly wishing for the same thing. 

"I-I dreamt of Tsumu last night." Osamu said, breaking the silence. Sakusa looked at him in shock but opted not to say anything. "You did too didn't you?" 

Osamu looked at him curiously, eyes still watery. "Yeah." Sakusa confirmed. 

"When I woke up, I felt like someone had ripped my limb off, like someone had taken a part of me. It felt like someone had chopped one of my arm off you know? Like someone sawed it off. I felt this hollowness in my heart after and it made me feel extremely anxious and uneasy. So I woke Rin up and we drove here straight away." Osamu recalled, as he tried to wipe his tears off. 

"I don't know why but I just needed to see him. When we g-got here, as soon as w-we entered the room, the heart monitor stopped. You came a couple of minutes after we did, so I assume you must have felt that too? Since you're here earlier than usual." 

"Not as strong, but I had an uneasy feeling since I woke up." 

Osamu sighed, not feeling like he should say anything else. They sat in relative silence whilst staring at the same place, heart breaking at loosing their most important person. When the door opened, they both look up to see Suna who's eyes seemed suspiciously red as a nurse trailed after him with a box and plastic bags in her hand. 

Sakusa felt like it was cruel that they were trying to empty the room as soon as possible. Both men sat still as Suna talked to the nurse, when she left she gave them one more pitiful look that Sakusa hated so much. He looked away not wanting to see that pitiful look at all. He was about to get up when he was pulled into a hug. 

He froze up but upon realising that it was Suna, he reluctantly wrapped his arm around him. Both him and Osamu bathed in Suna's comforting hug, the fox eyed man trying desperately to comfort them. When Suna let go, he got up and offered a hand to them. 

"Come. They said they'll give us half an hour to clear the room." Suna said, voice croaky. Sakusa and Osamu took his hands as they got up, dusting themselves. They got to tidying up the room, all moving as if there's no life in their bodies at all. Osamu and Sakusa cleared the drawers while Suna cleared the bathroom and before they knew it, they had finished and signed all the necessary documents. 

Before they knew it ,they were outside of the hospital, box and bags in their hands. Unsure of what to do, Sakusa moved towards the direction of his apartment before a hand pulled him back.

"Come back with us. Don't go through this alone." Osamu said, Suna agreeing with him. Sakusa looked hesitant and Osamu picked up on it. "Please. I made a promise." 

At the broken tone, Sakusa couldn't find it in himself to say no so he nodded and followed the couple to their car. They drove quietly, not even the radio played and once they had reached the house, they went in quietly and sat on the couch, looking at the box and bags that contained Atsumu's belongings. 

Sakusa watched as Osamu reached into the box and pulled out a simple yellow book which he handed to Sakusa. 

"Open it." he told him, looking away. 

Sakusa looked apprehensively at it before recognising it as the book Atsumu always had on him whenever Sakusa visited him. The man never showed him the contents so Sakusa was a bit hesitant to open it. When Osamu got up, Sakusa didn't bother looking up, instead opted to open the book.

The first page had Atsumu's handwriting. 

_'When you forget.'_ It wrote. When he moved on to the next page, Sakusa couldn't help the gasp that escaped at seeing his picture and beside it, a picture of him an Atsumu in front of the Bellagio Fountains from when they went on vacation to Las Vegas after Atsumu had mentioned wanting to go to the city. 

_'This is Sakusa Kiyoomi or as I call him, Omi. He is the love of my life, the apple of my eye, the spiker to my setter. He is my strength, my hope and my love.'_

Sakusa could feel the tears forming in his eyes as he gently touched the picture of them both, Atsumu smiling brightly at the camera as Sakusa looked at him, smile on his face. That day was one of the happiest days of his life, it was a year before Atsumu was diagnosed. It was a day filled with sightseeing and taking pictures by the extravagant buildings in Las Vegas. Unfortunately, Sakusa couldn't exactly remember what had happened that night as they had drank too much but nevertheless, every day spent with Atsumu was a happy day in his eyes. 

As he moved on to the next page, it was a picture of Osamu and next to it was a picture of the twins, or more specifically, a picture of Atsumu drawing on Osamu's face as Osamu slept. 

_'This is Osamu, my twin. I doubt I'll forget this asshole since we have the same face but I guess it's worth putting him here.'_

Sakusa shook his head as he moved on to the next page which had a picture of Suna and next to it, a picture of Atsumu and Suna both decked out in the MSBY uniform and the EJP Raijin uniforms, playfully glaring at each other. 

_'This is Suna Rintaro, my best friend and Osamu's fiancé. Why he would marry Samu, I don't know why. He's quiet but can be extremely snarky.'_

The next few pages were of everyone in Atsumu's life. From his Inarizaki teammates to his MSBY teammates. Even the kind doctors and nurses from the hospital were there. At the second last page were a picture of an old couple and a picture of them when they were younger. Sakusa gasped when he saw the resemblance between the old man and the twins. 

_'Miya Aiko (mom) and Miya Hideo (dad). They are my parents. I haven't met them since they disowned me when I came out to them after high school. They are trying to make amends after a couple of years of shutting me out though. I think it's because Samu came out too. I'm glad Samu still kept contact with them, he's a good son.'_

Sakusa felt that familiar anger bubbling up at reading this. Atsumu had told him before and Sakusa had a half mind about storming to their house and telling them off for their awful beliefs but Atsumu had stopped him. 

"Here. Atsumu wanted me to give this to you after he-after he-" Osamu said, voice shaking as he held out an envelope. Sakusa took it as Osamu sat back down in his seat beside Suna. 

"When Tsumu started to forget, he always had that book on him. Every morning when he woke up, he would memorise everything in that book as best as he could. He always told me he was scared of forgetting." Osamu explained, tears running down his face again. 

Sakusa nodded as he placed the book in his lap. He assumed that the envelope contained a letter and he desperately wanted to tease Atsumu for being a cliché, but he can't. He felt something else in the envelope so when he opened it, he shook it upside down until a USB stick came out. He frowned at this and looked at Osamu.

"I don't know either."

"I'll get a laptop." Suna said and disappeared down the hallway before reappearing with a laptop in hand. Sakusa gave him the USB stick and took the letter out only to see a sticky note stuck to it with instructions to not open the letter until he's watched the video in the USB stick.

"It's ready." Suna said. 

"Do you think you can connect it to the tv?" Sakusa asked and Suna nodded, attaching the laptop to the tv. They watched as Atsumu's face filled the screen. As Suna played the video, Sakusa felt all the air leaving him. 

_"Hi! I'm guessing you're watching this with Samu and Sunarin right?"_ Sakusa nodded as if the man was in front of him. He felt tears prickling at his eyes once more at hearing Atsumu's voice and seeing his face again, but he blinked it away. 

_"Well since they're watching, let me delve into what goes on in the bedroom."_ Osamu made a disgusted face at that. The sound of Atsumu's laughter echoed in the room, his head thrown back and eyes closed as he laughed at the camera, no doubt knowing how his brother would have reacted. 

_"I'm kidding. Anyways. You thought I left you a letter huh Omi? I'm not that bad of a cliché you know! Plus seeing my gorgeous face would be better than seeing my handwriting anyways."_

"I agree." Sakusa whispered. 

_"You all must be wondering why I made this video right? Well I have a confession to make."_

There was a pause as Atsumu seemed to twiddle with his thumbs. Sakusa's heart rate started to race, unsure of what Atsumu would say. When Atsumu looked back up at the screen, he had a tearful smile on his face.

_"I wanted to say it before I forgot. It's ironic how I was the one that remembered it in the first place but I'm married, to one Sakusa Kiyoomi."_

Osamu gasped as he gaped at Sakusa, Suna looking back and forth between the TV and Sakusa. The raven haired man didn't know what to do, he looked on in confusion at the screen, unsure of what Atsumu was talking about. 

He was sure that if he married Atsumu, he'd definitely remember. Plus he had plans on proposing to the man and he never got to do so being married to Atsumu seemed like such a dream. 

"You married him?!" Osamu shrieked, surprised at the revelation.

"I don't know! Not that I know of!" Sakusa defended himself.

 _"Samu don't kill him."_ a voice echoed in the room. The trio looked back at the screen, Atsumu glaring at the camera. It was almost scary how well the man knew this would play out. 

_"If Samu isn't with you then play him this video when you see him okay Omi? I'll protect you from that jerk."_ Atsumu huffed. Sakusa couldn't help the incredulous laugh that escaped his throat as a fond smile made an appearance on Osamu's face. 

_"Anyways, back to business!"_ Atsumu clapped. _"I don't know if you remember that night but remember when we got drunk in Vegas?"_

Sakusa nodded.

_"Well, we got married there. I can't believe I got married to the love of my life in a tacky chapel but yeah we got married. I can vividly remember us drinking in this Korean BBQ place and we bumped into Bokkun and Akaashi who coincidentally decided to go to Vegas at the same time as us because Bokkun wanted to see the flashy lights. I remember Bokkun talking about how you and I should get married cos we're so perfect for each other._

_Next thing I know, you proposed to me. I said yes and after we paid, we separated from Bokkun and Akaashi and went straight to a chapel nearby and got married."_

At those words, some parts of that night started flashing in Sakusa's eyes. He remembers bumping into a clearly drunk Bokuto with a tired looking Akaashi who was trying to keep up with his partner's excitement. He remembers Bokuto urging them to get married and both Sakusa and Atsumu impulsively getting married at some random chapel. He remembers finding a piano and drunkenly paying off the person playing so he could serenade Atsumu. 

He serenaded Atsumu with 'This I Promise You' as Atsumu wobbled down the aisle. Sakusa's sure that he wasn't hitting the right keys either and after they said 'I do', they headed back to their hotel and afterwards was a blur. 

Sakusa buried his face in his hands as he now just remembered drunkenly marrying the love of his life. It turns out he really did get to marry the man, he just didn't know. He looked back up at the screen at a sheepish looking Atsumu.

 _"I got married before you Samu! Take that!"_ Atsumu childishly stuck his tongue out as Osamu chuckled, wiping his tears away. 

_"I know you must be shocked right now Omi and I hope you can forgive me for not telling you. It's selfish I know but I don't want you to regret marrying me in that awful chapel. I know you had your plans to propose, I saw the ring and I'm scared that you'll be disappointed once you find out that there was no need for us to have a wedding. That's why I recorded this so that Samu could give you this. I don't want you to hear it from someone else and in a way I can apologise to you._

_Don't get mad at Bokkun or Akaashi for not telling you, I don't think they knew anyways. Although we spent our lives not knowing we were already married, I just want to thank you for making me the happiest man alive. For spending time with me, caring for me and loving me for the rest of my life. I wish I could spend the rest of yours by your side too but what can we do right?_

_Look after Samu and Sunarin for me and I hope those two will look after you too, since you are family from now on._

_I love you Sakusa Kiyoomi, I've loved you then and I'll continue to love you until my dying breath. Thank you for loving me, for putting up with me and for giving me strength. Thank you for opening up your heart for me and for letting me experience what life is like by your side. Thank you for creating these wonderful memories with me. You will, forever and always stay in my heart."_

By this point, Sakusa was openly sobbing as he looked at the pure and open expression on Atsumu's face. He wishes he could hold him, just one more time. He wishes he could tell him that he's the one that should be thankful, that Atsumu had brightened up his melancholic life, how Atsumu had taught him to love and taught him how being loved felt. He wanted to tell Atsumu how thankful he was that he was given the chance to stay by his side. How even if he knew, he wouldn't be disappointed as being married to Atsumu would be a dream come true, no matter where they got married.

_"As for you Samu, my dear baby brother. Thank you for sticking up for me and staying by my side when mom and dad kicked me out. No matter how much of a jerk you are, you were always my pillar and my biggest fan. You were always in my corner and you would bring me up when I felt down, you would always be there by my side when I felt lonely. I always used to say that god punished me by giving you as my brother when in reality, I think god was too generous when he decided to dump your sorry ass on me._

_So thank you Samu, for being the best brother I could ever ask for. Continue being an annoying piece of shit and never change. I love you Samu, I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to your wedding."_

Osamu bawled as Suna wrapped his arms around him, rubbing his back up and down in a comforting manner. 

_"Now Sunarin. You better look after my brother you hear me? If you ever hurt him I will haunt your ass for the rest of your life. But other than that, thank you for being the best friend I could ever ask for. You were always a quiet form of support you know? You never had to say anything, your presence alone was comforting enough. I always found your company fun too and all the videos you took of Samu and I whenever we fought was always fun to look back on._

_Thank you for being such a constant presence in mine and my brother's life, for always being there for us when we needed you. I wish you both nothing but happiness in the future. Make sure you love and care for each other okay? And don't miss bullying me too much! I love you Sunarin."_

Suna desperately tried to hold back his tears but it seemed like he lost all control. He tried to comfort Osamu as he himself grieved at the loss of his best friend. He was never going to be able to tease Atsumu or provoke him every time they had a match. He would no longer have someone who would raid Osamu's kitchen with him. 

_"Now when I go, please get on with your lives. You can mourn, you can grieve but please don't let my passing affect you too much. My dying wish, which you must fulfil okay?! My dying wish is for Omi to go back to playing volleyball because I know how much he misses it and for Samu to continue to expand Onigiri Miya and for Sunarin to make it to the national team! Oh and for you three to be a family. That is my most important wish._

_Me passing on isn't the end of the world, it is simply just part of the circle of life. Maybe when Samu and Sunarin have kids they could name them 'Atsumu', just a suggestion."_ Atsumu winked.

Osamu didn't know whether he should cry harder or laugh at his twin's absurd behaviour as Sakusa just watched the screen, listening intently to whatever Atsumu was saying. 

_"You know what they say, the living must live on. Just maybe don't forget me, but don't use me as an excuse to ruin your life. So yeah. That's all I wanted to say I guess._

_I love you Omi-omi, remember that. Even if I forget, just know that I will always love you. I have one last present for you and if you're in Samu and Sunarin's house, go look into the back of the drawer underneath the TV. I doubt they would've seen it, they never use that drawer anyways._

_As for you Samu and Sunarin, I hope you finish the chapter of your story and live a long and happy life together._

_Look after each other, you're all family now after all. I love each one of you and I hope when I'm reborn, I get to live a long life with you. Thank you for all you've done for me._

_I'll see you later."_

With that, Atsumu leaned over to the camera with a watery smile before the video ended. Nothing but heart-breaking sobs could be heard in the room as the tv went black. Sakusa opened up the piece of paper that came with the USB stick with shaky hands and cried harder upon seeing the marriage certificate. He clutched it in his hands as he leaned into his arms, crying at the thought of his lover, no husband, gone from his life. 

He tried to calm himself down, but he couldn't. A voice in his head told him to get up, to check the drawer and when he looked up, Suna gave him an encouraging nod, eyes red as he held Osamu in his arms. 

Wobbling to the drawer, he searched until he found a little black velvet box. When he opened it, he was met with a ring identical to the one he got for Atsumu. He took it out and looked closely to see, _forever and always,_ engraved in the inner band. 

As he sobbed harder, he was pulled into a comforting embrace. Both Osamu and Suna saw how distraught Sakusa was and pulled him into a comforting hug, not wanting the man to grieve on his own. 

They made a promise after all. 


	10. Day Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw! blood ( just a little bit).  
> just thought i should put this here just in case.

Sakusa had left Osamu and Suna's house early in the morning, opting to head back to his own apartment. He had thanked them for their hospitality and the couple didn't try to hide their worry but Sakusa just assured them that he would call them if something is wrong. 

Once he was in the comfort of his own home, Sakusa grabbed the bottle of scotch in his cupboard as he settled down on the couch, the yellow book and the marriage certificate were placed on the coffee table. Sakusa stared at them, heart aching at the last things he had from his husband. He took a swig from the bottle and connected his phone to the tv, playing the video that Atsumu had left him. 

Tears filled his eyes as Atsumu appeared on the screen, bright smile on his face and looking so radiant that it took Sakusa's breath away. He replayed the video over and over again just to hear Atsumu's voice once more and the more the video played, the more Sakusa started to lose his sobriety, taking drinks from the bottle just to feel that burning pain, just to feel anything other than his heart being ripped to shreds.

Losing control of himself, Sakusa tried to get up to get closer to the tv but lost balance and tripped on the coffee table. In his attempt at gaining momentum, he held on to the shelf, its contents falling and shattering, cutting Sakusa's hands. As his hand bled, the cracked frame that contained Atsumu's picture from when they went ice skating glared up at him. 

_"I love you Omi-omi..."_ could be heard from the tv as Sakusa took the picture and gently touched it with his hand, blood smearing the edges. 

With his sobs and the speakers blaring, Sakusa failed to register the loud shouting banging from his front door nor did he hear the door opening with the loud bang and the hurried footsteps making their way down the hallway. 

When Komori made it into the living room, he was met with the sight of his cousin on the floor amongst shards of broken glass, crying as he held a photograph in his bloodied hands. 

"Yoomi." Komori gasped in horror. Sakusa looked up but his sight was too blurry and his mind wasn't in the right place. What registered in his mind was 'Omi', leading the drunk man to cry harder. 

"Tsumu." he cried, reaching out. Komori was at loss for words, unsure of what to do as Sakusa desperately tried to reach out to his dead lover. Komori watched, frozen as Sakusa tried to stand up and go to him. At that, Komori was by his cousin's side in an instant, tears in his own eyes. 

"Tsumu, please don't leave me. Not again." Sakusa whimpered in Komori's embrace. The brunette didn't say anything, instead he rubbed his cousin's back comfortingly. 

When Ushijima came inside after reassuring Sakusa's neighbours that he wasn't a burglar, his eyes widened at the sight. Komori had tears running down his face as Sakusa held on to Komori tightly, blood and tears staining Komori's jacket. 

Ushijima stood by the entrance unsure of what to do and he stayed that way until Sakusa eventually passed out. As if in a silent agreement, Komori gently let go of his cousin as Ushijima walked towards them, picking the broken man off the floor and carrying him to the bedroom as Komori gently supported him. Once Sakusa was on the bed, Komori brought a first aid kit from the bathroom and gave it to Ushijima. 

He silently cleaned the cuts and sterilising them, eyes widening slightly at the ring on Sakusa's ring finger. After he was done, he bandaged them and lefy the room, letting Komori clean up Sakusa and change him. 

As Komori wiped down Sakusa, he desperately tried to blink his own tears back, not wanting to start crying because it might wake Sakusa up. He hated how much pain his cousin was in and he wishes that he could do something to take the other's pain away but he knows that all he can do is to be there for him. 

When he was done, he quietly made his way back to the living room where Ushijima was cleaning up the broken glass, placing the bloodied picture on the table just by the yellow book. As soon as he was finished, he threw the glass away and wiped down all the blood as Komori sat on the couch, in shock of what he had witnessed but when he witnessed the certificate on the table, a gasp escaped his throat and his eyes almost bulged out of their socket. 

He carefully picked it up and what he saw brought tears back to his eyes. 

"They were married." Ushijima pointed out, letting Komori know that he had seen it as well. 

"How? I mean how- what-" 

"That, I do not know." 

As the video replayed on the screen, Komori jumped, not expecting to hear Atsumu's voice. Upon realising that it was a video, he paused it, not wanting to look at the video that Atsumu had recorded for Sakusa. They didn't know what to do, not knowing how to fill the silence as they weren't particularly close so they opted to clean up Sakusa's apartment for him. 

When he woke up, Sakusa felt a sick feeling in his stomach. As he blinked away his sleepiness, he thought he saw Atsumu lying on the bed next to him, leaning on his own arm as he reached to caress Sakusa's face. But it was gone in an instant and Sakusa felt his heart drop. 

As he tried to sit up, Sakusa an ache in his hand and when he looked down, it was all bandaged up. He had no recollection of what happened and his head was throbbing. Hearing voices in the living room, he stumbled his way there only to freeze as his eyes met Atsumu's.

Sakusa froze by the doorway when Atsumu stared at him, concern lacing his features. All the voices started to disappear as he stared at the love of his life and as if in a trance, he walked to where Atsumu was.

"Tsumu..." he whispered, arm reaching out.

"Kiyoomi!" that deep baritone voice seemed to snap him back to reality. His arm dropped to his side as Osamu looked back at him worriedly. Shame filled his chest but he didn't have the time to be embarrassed as the urge to throw up grew stronger. He ran to the bathroom and threw up what seemed to be his whole stomach as a hand rubbed his back. 

He continued to heave until nothing was left, accepting the bottle of water that Komori handed him. Sakusa brushed his teeth and gargled mouthwash to get rid of the smell. 

"Yoomi." he started but was stopped.

"Don't." Sakusa interrupted, voice scratchy. 

Komori just nodded and helped his cousin back to the living room where Osamu, Suna and Ushijima were sat, all worried for Sakusa's wellbeing. 

"I'm sorry. I was out of my mind for a second there." Sakusa apologised with a bow. 

"You don't have to apologise." Osamu assured him. Sakusa nodded and sat beside Ushijima who just gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze. 

"Do you remember what happened?" Komori asked, knowing the answer but needing some confirmation anyways.

When Sakusa shook his head, Komori explained everything to him as Sakusa sat in silence, listening intently.

"I'm sorry." he whispered. "W-where's the picture?" 

Ushijima pointed to where the book was. They all watched with bated breath as Sakusa took the picture in his hands, watched the pain flicker through Sakusa's features. It seemed like there was an inner battle going on in his mind, so they all sat quietly, patiently waiting for what the other man will say.

Suna reached over to hold Osamu's hand, knowing how much the other was feeling guilty for letting Sakusa go home earlier. 

"I-I-" Sakusa started. He cleared his throat before starting again. "I think I need to go away for a bit. After the funeral that is."

Komori looked like he wanted to protest, not comfortable at leaving his cousin on his own after today's events. But one look at Sakusa's distraught face stopped him from saying anything, instead letting the other man continue. 

"I can't - I can't stay here. If I do, I think I'll go crazy from missing him. I won't be able to keep my promise to him either if I don't leave and I really don't want to disappoint him." Sakusa whispered, looking at the picture, tears running down his cheeks. 

"Okay." Osamu nodded, his own tears running down his face. He squeezed Suna's hand in his, the latter giving him an encouraging smile.

"I promised Tsumu that I'd look out for you and to make sure you're okay and if this is what you need, none of us will stop you. But Kiyoomi I need you to promise me that you'll check in with one of us at least once a week. Please. Because if something happens to you, the guilt will eat me alive." Osamu begged him. 

Sakusa nodded. "I promise." 

Osamu gave him a sad smile as Suna wrapped his arm around the grieving man. 

Komori and Ushijima didn't protest, both wrapping Sakusa up in their arms as he cried. This wasn't what they wanted, they'd much prefer to keep the man close but if that will just give him pain, they'll let him as long as he keeps his promise. 

\-------

_A week later..._

A group of people watched as the casket was lowered in the ground. Among them, Sakusa stood at the front with Osamu and Suna, both dressed in black suits and holding a rose in their hands. 

Once the casket was lowered, as Atsumu's husband, Sakusa threw the rose in first followed by Osamu and Suna. The rest of the guests followed as Sakusa stared sorrowfully at the casket, Osamu on his right and Suna on his left. They held on to each other for support, tears running down their faces at the final goodbye. 

After the burial, groups of people approached them. First was the former Inarizaki teammates, Kita, Aran, Omimi and the rest of the team. Sakusa watched as they pulled Osamu into a hug, all crying amongst themselves as Bokuto, Hinata, Akaashi and the rest of the MSBY Team walked over to Sakusa. Even the former Inarizaki coaches were there as well to show their respect.

Bokuto who was bawling his eyes out, pulled Sakusa into his embrace with the rest of the team following. They've all lost their teammate and friend but Sakusa has lost his soulmate and they couldn't imagine how much the other man was going through, how much pain he was in.

"We're all here for you." Bokuto cried. 

"Thank you." Sakusa whispered. 

When they all let go, the MSBY coach approached Sakusa to pay his respects, tears in the old man's eyes. Sakusa couldn't find his voice and he just thanked the old man for coming, the same was repeated when a few of the Schweiden Adlers team came over as well as other members of rival volleyball teams who knew Atsumu. 

Sakusa was thankful when Osamu pulled him to the side but the other man was looking uneasy, eyes darting back and forth between Sakusa and something behind him. 

"My parents are here." Osamu blurted out. Sakusa frowned at that information, anger bubbling in the surface. He clenched his fists at the audacity they had to show up when they didn't bother helping when Atsumu was still at the hospital nor did they offer their respects during the wake. Sakusa turned to glare at the couple who were standing next to Suna. 

"I'm just as angry as you but we need to hear them out okay? They were trying to make amends remember?" Osamu reasoned, trying to calm Sakusa down. 

"They tried to make amends until Atsumu was admitted." Sakusa seethed. He took deep breaths to calm himself down, knowing that he shouldn't cause a scene in Atsumu's funeral.

"Fine." he let out before following Osamu who glared at his parents. 

"Kind of you to show up." Osamu said, anger lacing his tone as Suna stood beside him, holding his hand. 

"I'm sorry. We-we didn't feel like he wanted us there." Miya Hideo said, head bowed down. 

"If I may." Sakusa interjected. His in laws stared at him up and down. 

"Who are you?" Aiko asked him rudely. Sakusa raised an eyebrow as Osamu seethed beside him.

"I'm Atsumu's husband. You would have known that if you showed up to pay some respect to your dead son." Sakusa replied, glaring at them. Aiko and Hideo recoiled at the information, looking down in shame. 

"We didn't know whether we were welcome or not after everything." Aiko tried to reason, Hideo nodding beside her. 

"Bullshit." Sakusa responded. At this point, Aiko and Hideo were glaring at him.

"Don't talk to us like that. Have some respect for your in laws." Hideo snapped.

"No. Don't talk to him like that." Osamu defended Sakusa. The old couple gaped at Osamu who was staring at them with so much hatred in their eyes. 

"You can't talk to him like that, not when you abandoned your own son. Kiyoomi loved Tsumu and he showed it. His unwavering loyalty and dedication is something you can _never_ understand." Osamu started but when his parents looked like they were about to interject, Osamu glared at them.

"Let's face it. The reason why you started talking to Tsumu again is because he started gaining success and recognition and you wanted to cash in on that. You never cared about him, not after he came out to you. You're shallow, rude and you should not call yourselves human beings. The only reason you're probably here is to cash in on Tsumu's assets right? Why else would you be here after not visiting him in the hospital." Osamu growled out, hands clenched into fists and face red in anger. 

Aiko and Hideo spluttered, unsure of what to say at the accusations.

"Did you even know that Atsumu would cry out for you when he was scared? When he was met with faces he no longer recognised? Did you know that Atsumu waited every day to see you, only to be disappointed each time." Sakusa added, glowering at them.

"As of now, I'm disowning you. I am done. The only reason I kept in touch with you after how badly you treated Tsumu was because Tsumu begged me me to not abandon you. Now that Tsumu's not here, I have no reason to talk to you." Osamu declared before walking off, Suna walking beside him. 

Sakusa glared at them one more time before following Osamu who was walking as far away from his parents as possible. When they were away from the crowd, Osamu lost all his composure and burst out into tears, Suna supporting him. 

"I'm sorry they talked to you that way." Osamu apologised. 

"It's okay." Sakusa answered. He stared at the couple before deciding to give them some time together. "I'll leave you two." 

As he walked away, he could hear Suna comforting Osamu. Komori walked towards him, sad look on his face and giving him the bouquet of roses that Sakusa had left with Komori. 

"I'll be okay." Sakusa reassured him as he took the bouquet in his hands, and continued walking silently towards the rest of the guests together. 

As the sky started to get dark and the guests started leaving, Sakusa didn't move from his place beside Atsumu's grave. Once the final guest left, Osamu sat by Atsumu's grave, talking to his twin as Suna stood beside Sakusa. 

"What time is your flight?" Suna asked him.

"It's at eight." Sakusa replied. 

"You sure you don't want us to drop you off? Motoya was really upset." 

"It's better if I left on my own." 

"Don't forget to check in with us okay?" 

Sakusa nodded as Suna pulled him into a hug. He hugged the other man back and before they knew it, Osamu had joined in on the hug. The trio stood there for what seemed like a long time, all finding strength in each other, like they had for the past couple of years. 

When they let go, Osamu lightly punched Sakusa's shoulder. 

"We'll see you when you come back okay?" 

"I'll see you both then." 

Sakusa watched as the couple left, watched until they had disappeared out of sight. He turned to Atsumu's gravestone and sat on the ground, placing the bouquet in the middle of all the flowers that the guests had left behind. He watched as the sun started to set, fiddling with the grass.

"This will be the last time I bring you flowers for a while." Sakusa said, staring at Atsumu's picture in the gravestone. "I'm leaving for a while but don't worry I'll come back. I'll try to keep my promise to you, I'll try to make sure I fulfil your wish so be patient with me okay?"

The wind rustled and a small smile appeared on Sakusa's face. 

"It seems like you're listening to me." Sakusa sighed before a serious look took over. 

"Growing up I always thought I'd be alone, that nobody will be able to tolerate me and care for me. But then you came along. You not only tolerated me, but you helped me learn that I didn't need to change, that I was fine the way I was. You loved me for who I was, no complaints. Because of you, I was able to find happiness in you, I was able to enjoy life even more. I was able to start a new chapter in my life, one that was filled with bliss, devotion and love.

Because of you, I was able to gain so many wonderful things in life. You are and will always be, my forever partner, my soulmate. I will never be able to love another as much as I love you because as cheesy and corny as it is, you took my heart with you the moment that you left. I too will love you until my dying breath.

I wish I could hold you one more time. I wish I could tell you how much I love you and see that beautiful blush on your face. I wish I could play volleyball with you again. I wish I could serenade you again. There are so many things I wish for that can't be fulfilled. There were so many things we could've done but couldn't because of the time we were given.

Which is why this isn't goodbye. I ask that you wait for me because I promise to love you even more than I did in this life."

As the wind rustled once more, taking the petals of the flowers with it, Sakusa smiled. He knows that it's probably a coincidence, but a part of him feels that Atsumu is listening to him and that he's currently there with him. Sakusa stood up and brushed the dirt off his trousers. 

"I take that as you saying yes." Sakusa shook his head, smile on his face. 

"I'm going to have to leave now but I promise I'll see you again okay? I love you Tsumu." 

As Sakusa walked back down, the wind blew once more putting a sad smile on his face. Before he got in his car, he looked back again at the cemetery, picturing Atsumu at the gates, smiling at him.

Getting in the car, Sakusa drove off, not looking back, with only his promise in mind and his love in his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just one more chapter until the end guys. thank you for bearing with me until now :)


	11. Epilogue

_One year later_

Sakusa placed the the bouquet of daffodils in front of the tombstone and soon after, he lit up the candles he had brought and placed Atsumu's favourite fruits as offering. He then bowed twice before sitting in front, looking at Atsumu's smiling face.

"Hey my love. I'm back." he said, lightly touching the picture. 

When he left after the funeral, he hasn't returned to Japan at all. He travelled to multiple different places, first travelling to Thailand, Malaysia and the Philippines before travelling to America and staying there for a couple of weeks. When it got too tiring, he travelled to Italy where he unexpectedly met with Kageyama. He didn't stay at any other country for long, opting to stay for a maximum of two weeks before moving on. 

Throughout his travels, he grieved and mourned for his lost love. The first few weeks were the toughest, always seeing a shadow of Atsumu wherever he went. He couldn't find it in himself to have fun, to relax and he spent his time in those beautiful countries cooped up in his hotel while re-watching the video that Atsumu had left behind.

After the first two months, he had the urge to go outside to actually see and enjoy the sunlight. He walked across the park and came across two children playing volleyball, one of which was furiously trying to get the other to spike the ball that he had set. 

_"If you can't hit my sets you can't be a spiker!"_ the little boy had said. Sakusa had frozen, remembering something similar that Atsumu had said once. It was as if his feet had a mind of their own as he started walking towards them and for the first time in a very long time, Sakusa played vollyeball. 

He taught the little kids the proper forms and tried to teach the little setter everything Atsumu taught him. He taught them how to receive and before he knew it, other kids had joined them and Sakusa had a little group looking up at him with admiration in their eyes. Sakusa asked the little setter to set to him and despite it being a messy set, Sakusa hit it which earned him a round of applause. 

That day was the first time Sakusa had felt the weight in his chest start to lighten. 

After that day, whenever he travelled to a new country he would play volleyball on his own, just some light workouts and afterwards, he found himself in a gym observing other players. 

It was a gradual process, which he updated his cousin and in laws about and he occasionally talked to Ushijima about it as well. On the fourth month, he went to Italy and met Kageyama who took him to his team's gym. That was when Sakusa realised how far behind he was from everyone, how his technique is no longer as polished as it was. 

When Kageyama set for him, he was reminded of how Atsumu played. He found himself seeing the younger in a new light, thanking him as he left but when the younger offered to let him practice with him, eyes so eager and hopeful, Sakusa couldn't find it in him to say no. Those very eyes reminding him of when Atsumu had asked him to practice with him. 

Sakusa had ended up spending a month in Italy before travelling to his next destination, Argentina. 

"I met another setter in Argentina, Oikawa Tooru. He was originally from here but he got naturalised as an Argentinian citizen." Sakusa spoke, recalling his first meeting with the brunette. 

"I stayed in Argentina for two months because he reminded me so much of you." Sakusa remembered. 

His first encounter with Oikawa made him seem like he was going crazy. The similarities between Atsumu and the brunette were so striking, not in their appearance, but in their personalities and the way they carried themselves. 

Like Atsumu, Oikawa was a confident and skilled setter, and the way he talked to people as if he was better than them was also an icing on the cake. Every time he was with Oikawa, he felt as if Atsumu was there with him too. He accidentally let it slip once and Oikawa just looked at him in pity. 

_"If I'm anything like your husband, then I think he wouldn't want you to be like this. I mean you look like a walking corpse! Come to the gym with me tomorrow and I'll let you play with my team as a guest."_ Oikawa had said. 

From then on, Sakusa wasn't sure if it was out of pity or not, but Oikawa had seemed to take a liking to him, always trying to get him to play volleyball with them. It was also the brunette that had encouraged him to try to get back to playing volleyball professionally, that he will send him a menu to follow so he could bring his body back to the way it was. When he asked him how he would know, the brunette just shrugged and said that his own husband was an athletic trainer. 

Ever since then, he had kept in contact with Oikawa, the man occasionally checking in on him with new regimes to follow. Just before he left Argentina, Oikawa had dropped him off at the airport with a volleyball in hand. 

_"Never stop playing Yoomi! I hope to see you in the court next okay?"_ with that he had waved him goodbye. 

"I think I'm one step closer to my promise to you Tsumu." 

After Argentina, he had travelled to Poland. Heart later and with a goal to fulfil his love's wish, he sought out Ushijima who had agreed to help him to go back in shape. From then on, he had stayed in Poland, training with the Orzel Warszawa whenever he was allowed and other than that, Ushijima acted as some sort of pseudo-coach for him, helping him with his receiving, serving and spikes and before he knew it, on the eleventh month he was close to regaining his rhythm.

"Osamu and Suna were both incredibly supportive. Suna would try to give me advice. We were even able to play a game with Tendou who came to visit Wakatoshi. When I told Wakatoshi about meeting a setter from Argentina, you would have laughed at his face Tsumu. Turns out Oikawa and Wakatoshi go way back." 

Sakusa shook his head at the memory. He texted Oikawa about that and the brunette sent a flurry of messages, all detailing his hatred towards Ushijima. 

"I really miss you Tsumu. I wish you were here." Sakusa mused, proud at how he no longer bursts into tears every time his heart aches. 

He looked at his watch and his eyes widened before getting up and dusting the dirt off. 

"I have to go now my love. But I'll be back before you know it. I'll see you later." 

With that, Sakusa hurriedly walked back to his car and drove off to his destination, worried that he may miss the whole affair. Once he was parked, he ran straight into the venue and was met with Osamu who was waiting nervously by the entrance. When Osamu saw him, a bright smile spread on his face as he pulled his brother in law into a tight hug, having missed the younger. 

"I thought you wouldn't show." Osamu worried.

"Atsumu would have kicked my ass if I didn't." Sakusa joked. "Plus, I wouldn't miss walking my brother in law down the aisle."

Osamu just rolled his eyes before the music started playing inside. Sakusa offered his arm and Osamu hooked his arm with his. 

Ever since the funeral, Osamu had not talked to his parents, staying true to their words of cutting them off for how badly they had treated Atsumu which means that it was up to his only family left to walk him down the aisle. When he asked Sakusa, the raven haired man was elated and he had accepted, knowing full well how much it would mean to his brother in law. 

"Atsumu would have been proud of you." Sakusa whispered when they reached the altar. He gave his brother in law a tight hug before walking to his seat, tears in his eyes as he watched Suna walk down the aisle to meet Osamu at the altar. Aran handed Osamu a tissue as the other man was openly crying at seeing the love of his life walking to spend forever with him. 

When Suna saw him, the man waved at him and when he was close, leaned over to gently punch him in the shoulder, the _'I'm glad you're here'_ , went unsaid. 

Sakusa looked down at the ring on his finger before looking back up when the ceremony started. He listened intently to the minister and watched with nothing but happiness for the couple as they said their vows and exchanged rings. 

He imagined Atsumu standing up there beside Osamu, smiling proudly as his twin married his high school sweetheart. He can imagine Atsumu making fun of Osamu's crying face and Suna who was openly crying. He imagined that Atsumu himself would eventually burst out in tears at seeing the ceremony, the man being a hopeless romantic at heart. 

It has been a while since he's been surrounded by his family and he was glad he came back to witness the love blossom between the two people who have greatly suffered the past year. 

As the minister ended the ceremony, Sakusa wished for nothing but joy and happiness for Osamu and Suna and that they will live a long and happy life together, much like how Atsumu had wished for them.

"Be happy." he whispered, as the couple walked past him, dazzling smiles on their faces, ready to finally start a new chapter in their lives.

_Tokyo Olympics 2021_

After working hard and proving his capabilities, Sakusa was accepted into the Japanese National Team much to Bokuto and Hinata's surprise. Both men tearfully welcomed him into practice and it went without saying that the rest of the team were looking on in surprise at the reunion. Komori had hugged him tightly, happy to finally have his cousin back. 

Komori was thankful to see that Sakusa had looked lighter, how he was almost getting his shine back. He knew that Sakusa would never be the same, he would never return to how he was before but Komori had always prayed that his cousin wouldn't drown in his sorrows and seeing Sakusa now, Komori was grateful that his prayers were answered. 

Instead of the hollow man that walked around, this Sakusa had a smile on his face and he actually looks alive and Komori couldn't have asked for anything else. 

Now, as they all waited to be announced, Komori held on to his cousin who only looked forward, clutching the ring that dangled in a necklace around his neck. 

"Good luck." Komori whispered. Sakusa looked at him and let out a smile. 

"Thank you." Sakusa had replied, squeezing his shoulders. 

As Sakusa listened to the announcers introduce each members of the team eventually, a sense of calmness took over him as he clutched his ring. 

_"Number 13 Ojiro Aran!"_

Sakusa smiled, knowing how proud Atsumu would have been of his former teammate. He looked back at him and saw Suna, the man walking over to him and giving him a tight hug. 

"We're finally fulfilling his wishes huh?" Suna mused, happiness lacing his voice.

"We are." Sakusa agreed. 

"I'll see you out there." Suna patted his back before moving back to his place in the line. 

Sakusa took in a deep breath to calm his nerves. After years of hardship, pain and grief, he was finally able to stand in the court with the memory of his love fresh in his mind.

If you told him last year that he'd be standing on the Olympic court today, he would not believe you. As he looked back at his family, he could feel the nerves slowly seep out of him. Taking a deep breath he took one step forward, towards the court he had dreamed of standing on since he first took up volleyball. 

As the announcer introduced him, Sakusa ran to the court, with Atsumu in his heart, ready to start yet another chapter of his life. 

_"Number 15 Miya Kiyoomi!"_

\-------

As Kiyoomi woke up, he sat up, curious as to why he had woken up in a bench instead of his hospital room. He held his hand up to block the sun and was shocked to see that his hand wasn't as wrinkly as it was, the ring on his finger sparkling brightly. Sitting up, he looked at his surroundings and was confused to see that he was in by the beach. 

He stretched his aching muscles and saw someone standing by the sea. Pushing his hair out of his face, Kiyoomi got up and started walking towards that person, a sense of urgency filling him, almost as if he'd regret it if he didn't get there fast. When he was close enough to see not just a silhouette, he called out the name of the only person he's ever loved in his life. 

"Tsumu!"

When the figure turned, he had a radiant smile on his face as he held a bouquet made up of different types of flowers in his hand. The man still looked as beautiful as the day he left, looking so youthful as the sun shone brightly on him. Kiyoomi felt his breath hitch as he watched his love staring back at him with that loving gaze he had missed so much.

"Omi-omi!" Atsumu shouted and ran to meet Kiyoomi in the middle.

Atsumu reached out towards him, smile on his face as Kiyoomi pulled him into his arms. As they basked in each other's presence, they let their actions speak, holding tightly onto each other as if letting go would mean they would be separated once more. 

"I'm sorry I kept you waiting." Kiyoomi apologised, gently caressing Atsumu's cheeks. The shorter shook his head, as he leaned in to place a kiss on his lover's lips.

"I didn't mind, if it meant I get to spend eternity with you." Atsumu reassured him once they separated. 

"Eternity with you? How unfortunate." Kiyoomi joked, as Atsumu barked out a laugh, lightly hitting Kiyoomi's shoulder. 

"Omi!" 

As Kiyoomi stared at his lover laughing brightly in his arms, he realised that this really was the paradise he had always dreamt of for more than sixty years and that it was better than anything he had ever dreamt of. He looked on fondly at his love and once the shorter calmed down, he looked at the far distant, smile on his face as he stepped out of Kiyoomi's embrace. 

He started walking towards the other side, only to turn back and hold his hand out to Kiyoomi who took it without any hesitation. Walking side by side, Kiyoomi observed the scenario before turning to Atsumu.

"Where to?"

The shorter looked up at him and leaned his head on Kiyoomi's shoulder. "Forever, of course." 

Kiyoomi smiled at the other's response before leaning in to kiss him oh his forehead. 

"Of course."

In that moment, Kiyoomi had finally found peace, the final chapter of his story finally ending just like how it started, with the love of his life by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's a wrap!
> 
> thank you all so much for following me in this journey and for reading, loving and supporting this story. 
> 
> i love you all <3


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